Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
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Top comments
DeltaDragonxx 20
At least he won't try to sell you car insurance anymorel
quickit 24
OP you're a coldblooded murderer.
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Comments (80)
Witchylady 18
Oh no. That's horrible. Poor lizard. Breaks my heart. You could at least attempt to be pretend to be more sympathetic. Because getting cut up by a lawnmower is a horrible thing
daisylokes 16
my thoughts exactly.... :(
EcoAirWarrior 7
Lizards are ectothermic and cannot regulate their internal temperature so rely on external sources of heat to maintain their body temperature and remain active so it's bizarre this Lizard sought refuge away from light and warmth I pity the reptile though and sincerely hope you regret your mistake.
AaRahn 6
I died laughing at "little shit" lmao
missmorphinexx 6
Wtf?! That poor baby.
Chris Smith 9
I think you mean 'liked' to hide in dark places