Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Get back
Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML
Wrecked
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
I'm Jim Morrison, I'm Dead
Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Top comments
DeltaDragonxx 20
At least he won't try to sell you car insurance anymorel
quickit 24
OP you're a coldblooded murderer.
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Comments (80)
abbyyyyy 15
How do you explain that to your sister
2nd 20
"i killed your lizard with the lawnmower"
gosh_mate 30
Poor lizard :(
christinamarie17 29
Wowwww there's a lot of insults towards the lizard in this FML. Yes, FYL for killing (I assume) him/her but seriously don't reprimand the lizard for being an animal. It's instinctual for them to find dark and cold places. YDI, not for starting the lawn mower and not knowing the lizard was there but for being an ass about it after the fact.
Migole 36
I agree, no they couldn't have avoided it but why so many insults? The sister deserves it for being a shitty pet owner (reptiles are usually very high maintenance) but the Lizard just did what is natural to it and it absolutely didn't deserve to die. Imagine the Fml with a kitten instead, I bet the comments would read different then
nitemastr15 17
Maybe OP doesn't like lizards so the insults aren't becaysebit hid in the mower but would just be insulted anyway.
Marcella1016 32
Yeah OP's animosity for the lizard ("little shit" and "bastard") threw me off a little, too. The hell, OP? You almost sound glad you ran over it. Poor thing. Made me want to hit YDI, too.
EclipseCandy6 24
Yes YDI for being so insensitive.
worldclassrager 41
Is the lawnmower okay?
Perfectly_Killer 14
That is now a nope mower.
mezochan 29
That's metal.
some_random_user 2
A rare species unknown to science. A squealing lizard that likes the cold? Some would even say that's impossible! And now it's dead.
heryseshta 9
Lizards can't squeal, they also look for warm and dark places. I'm thinking this isn't real.
Kempeth 5
IDI - It deserved it.
zeffra13 31
No need for name calling, dude. It was just following its instincts, though I admit the lawnmower is odd. Maybe it was hiding near the lawnmower and hid inside when it heard you coming? For commenters, the squeal was probably more from being shredded than the lizard vocalizing, though I know at least geckos can make noise.