Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Today, my girlfriend misplaced her Blue Baboon Tarantula (aka Bastard Biting Thing) so I told her I wasn’t setting foot in her flat again until she found it. I then proceeded to find it myself, when I put on my motorcycle helmet. I can still feel its legs on my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML
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Top comments
nanxi 30
If this was a prank, your sister is an evil, evil genius.
cutycat136 28
Prank? I'm sure if she is your sister she would know if you had a pet one or not
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Comments (74)
finalyearsofhate 22
Set your house on fire.
EvilTurtle 35
No! That's a terrible idea....set your neighborhood on fire, just to be safe.
kibster9 20
That's a worse idea! Set your whole town on fire!
psychopolarbear 28
Set the world on fire. Right now. Get all those eight legged little bastards at once.
Futacy 30
Or you could just come to your senses and realize that your sister's probably playing a joke on you.
randome101 12
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Niz_DD 14
Some spiders in this case
Liamj774 36
Just picking up the box, and carefully burn your house down. 100% effective
mexican_music 13
Now I have a great prank to pull on someone
nanxi 30
If this was a prank, your sister is an evil, evil genius.
zenrael 21
Ever hear the word liar before?
EvilTurtle 35
Refer to my profile picture for the answer to your question
cutycat136 28
Prank? I'm sure if she is your sister she would know if you had a pet one or not
Awesomeaxel 24
Ohh better find that thing or you may have an interesting surprise when you wake up..
MrConcise 35
"Wait, you mean my missing snake, right? Last I saw him, he was headed towards your room..."
Miss_Whipped 43
I always give your comments thumbs ups before I see who it is and then I'm like 'Oh shit, it's MrConcise.' Basically stop being awesome pls. Kthx.
MrConcise 35
#50 - Love you too, bae. Call me later.
irish_lad 16
Spiders are scary *****. I recommend a good dose of oil and a match on your house
Kitty_Kat44 31
I don't think you'll be getting much sleep. I know I sure wouldn't be. And pretty brave of her to pick a spider up big enough to be a pet tarantula.