Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML
Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
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Top comments
superjewguy 19
he croaked?
DocBastard 40
There's only one thing you can do to the carpet now - Ribbit up.
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Comments (65)
pizzzah 9
.....how...does that even happen....
Wiringify 22
The FML actually explains that.
JocelynKaulitz 28
By being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
pizzzah 9
Wait oops my bad I'm not from the US, over here 'carpet' means the material that is permanently stuck on the floor and sealed
pizzzah 9
Well **** the frog's life
mageepaigeee44 15
Maybe there was a spot where the carpet wasn't sealed all the way down. Or maybe it was a large rug and OP just calls it a carpet because it covered the whole floor.
cakefete2 31
I know, 8, poor guy just came over to check out OP's "pad" and got river stomped into tomorrow. I feel for Ms. Piggy's loss.
Epickitty58 29
30- THAT is the FUNNIEST comment I have ever seen on this app. Props to you!
superjewguy 19
he croaked?
iLike2Teabag 27
He did, but maybe not by accident. Maybe the frog wanted to Kermit suicide.
sk8rdud3 24
That was the best pun on here so far.
gjikvtj 18
I think that's the first pun I've genuinely laughed at
Killz268 18
FATALITY!
illegalbeagle69 23
GET OVER HERE you lump in the carpet that keeps hopping away.
GentlemanBastard 15
OP Wins. Flawless victory.
incoherentrmblr 22
ANIMALITY!!!...
fuckyourlifeOP 25
44, is the three dots at the end of ALL your comments really necessary?
incoherentrmblr 22
Yes... Yes it is...
ronberg 15
well that was a froggy situation
alshygirl 14
Please just don't.
cakefete2 31
Where's OP? We need to borrow that lethal foot.
jackel_love 14
LOL. #29, your comments are making my day. For some weird reason Usher's song "Yeah!" started playing in my head when I read this.
1dvs_bstd 41
you'd wanna dry clean it..
DocBastard 40
There's only one thing you can do to the carpet now - Ribbit up.
ThatOneGuy719 16
Why was this thumbed down? It's actually a pretty good one
maggsie 11
ahhhhhhhh Hahahahaha YES
brandoneyez1 25
Look before you just stomp. Lesson learned.
MidnaLink 35
How can you look at what you can't see?
brandoneyez1 25
If it was an area rug... How would a frog get under a carpet?
RedPillSucks 33
Holes in the floor boards. If it's a slab house construction, sometimes things can get in from the edge.
MoodiQ 8
looks like you FROGot to check before placing the carpet
Adam5858 17
I say that was a pain to clean up.Try look for where he got under so it doesnt happen again
Fiorella1 19
If only that made sense.
justdiebitches 19
This made me sad. Poor frog :c
Taylor22294 24
It's not ok for frogs to die but as your name states it's ok for bitches to die. Learned something new
smokecloud_ 37
Frogs and other cute wildlife are innocent creatures. Bitches, on the other hand...
cakefete2 31
Bit ironic you have a picture of a dog on your profile. I hope that's a male dog.
smokecloud_ 37
Bahaha I didn't even think of that. he's a boy. xD