Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend stays over. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
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Top comments
dannyboy66 7
Forever lonely..........
Grimmerie 31
please tell me you act everything out, too. "oh edwardcakes, your skin is cold like something that was in the fridge." "my dearest laura, you are the prettiest babysitter ever. you are like a babysitter to my heart. let us touch lips." "oh yes, let's do that." /air makeouts /air groping /air humping /airgasm
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Comments (119)
cdh531 0
Quick! Run off with your imaginary bf and elope! Then never come back to town..He's real for all of anyone who wants to know. They can't prove a thing!
twofirstnames 12
Let's hope the kids weren't involved
deadlyjizzattack 0
I'm terribly sorry OP but this takes pathetic to a whole new level
daydreamer244 13
well...why wouldn't you do that at your house?
perdix 31
The sad part is that I am trying to figure out whether the OP has no boyfriend, or the real one she has is a jackass. Or worse, whether the scenes are disturbing corny and cutesy, or pornographic with sound effects and mimed action. Or both: "U 2 Cute!" "No, U 2 Cute!" "Snuggle Bear." "Pretty Piggie" "My that's so big!" slurp, slurp, pant, gag, groan, slurp "All over my face!" "Ahhhhhhh!" (end)
DeviantBreeder 7
Aren't you a retard? *said in a deep man voice* Oh yes you are!
countmystrides 5
You deserve a Tosh.o video redemption.
yaitsabovavrage 0
You.. Seriously need to get laid. Quick fast and in a hurry
softballrocks14 0
What the hell? I'm sorry but what the heck
alexFYL 11
You should always assume when you are in public places or residences that are not your own, that there are going to be cameras *somewhere*.