Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend stays over. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
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Top comments
dannyboy66 7
Forever lonely..........
Grimmerie 31
please tell me you act everything out, too. "oh edwardcakes, your skin is cold like something that was in the fridge." "my dearest laura, you are the prettiest babysitter ever. you are like a babysitter to my heart. let us touch lips." "oh yes, let's do that." /air makeouts /air groping /air humping /airgasm
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Comments (119)
NoNotTheFace 8
Let's just hope you didn't act out an impossible boyfriend. You: I don't like giving ********. Imaginary boyfriend: It's ok baby. I still love you. If you did, then HAHAHAHAHA. That is all.
iilovecokee 6
Hahahahaha, yessss! That's hilarious!
wriptidez 0
make sure no cam is n the bathroom thats Illegal n there... if so run
CAT47LOVE 19
its only illegal in a public bathroom...
Cheylea 10
Definitely the next YouTube star :) You should start signing autographs now.
ShyAnn29 15
Yes, we can say we 'knew' her before she became famous.
Cheylea 10
Yeah exactly! I feel honored to have read this post.
ilarsnl 9
Lets just hope you didnt have airsex with your 'boyfriend'
Miss_Attitude96 24
Dang, that's embarrassing. Just so they don't think you're crazy or anything, tell them you're rehearsing your lines for a play. & you just happen to know the lines of the guy who your character falls in love with.
Miss_Attitude96 24
Then after you explain to them you're in a play & they ask when it is & that they'll come, you would be sooooo screwed.
ohSNAPyall 27
"I'm rehearsing for improv. That's why my lines always change."
SorrowFull 8
DORK
emo_chick4 0
Agreed.
underguarded 20
Thats Some Primetime Television!
lmaoatall 6
Take this fml to a whole new level op. You were caught masturbating? Don't leave these fine little details out op. Fml readers are hungry for a good laugh.
JinxosGirl87 0
I'm sure they keep you around for the entertainment. When you go home they watch the video with some popcorn and enjoy their in-home soap opera.
techfreak243 3
Quick destroy the camera while you still have a chance