Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
David Attenborough
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Maternal monitoring
Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend stays over. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
This needs clarification
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
I think I should leave
Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML
Call the cops
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
Dream baby dream
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
Top comments
dannyboy66 7
Forever lonely..........
Grimmerie 31
please tell me you act everything out, too. "oh edwardcakes, your skin is cold like something that was in the fridge." "my dearest laura, you are the prettiest babysitter ever. you are like a babysitter to my heart. let us touch lips." "oh yes, let's do that." /air makeouts /air groping /air humping /airgasm
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Comments (119)
iilovecokee 6
This has Life Time Network movie potential. Crazy babysitter caught on tape, finds out about a hidden nanny cam, holds the entire family hostage forcing them to act out scenes involving her beloved imaginary boyfriend...
MainPrism 16
Yea, YDI weirdo...
kristen69 0
Hahahaha ur cool :p
jbong 0
It coulda been worse... Js
MightyGonzalez5 0
Creepyy :o
bubo_fml 11
Hey, be proud! Your exploring your creative imagination in a safe, healthy way instead of making snide comments about it on FML like the rest of these pathetic bastards...Excuse me, my air girl "Windy" is calling me on the etherial blower...She wants to give me a ********...Byeeeee!
emo_chick4 0
Haha weirdo! (I say this in the nicest way)
oxxxjackyxxxo 3
aahahaha this is too funny! x)
vbmg152 19
What's wrong with that? I did the same thing as a kid, assuming you are a kid! Back then no Nannie cams! Oh, this technological world!
hateevryone 15
sweetie, you might wanna go see a doctor.
kelis_fml 0
Aw least you weren't neglecting the kids