Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend about what happened to me during the day when he stopped me mid-sentence, asked me to skip the middle and to go right to the end of the story, because he could feel himself slowly dying of boredom. Rude much? FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, in front of his friends, “Can you stop breaking out into song all the time? It’s getting really annoying.” FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
"And then she typed angrily on her computer all the while telling me to stop narrating"
AllSoul 23
Peter Griffin?
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Comments (101)
French_Toast_fml 3
First!
abbynoelle 1
I would love if my bf did that! Hahahahaha
MagicallyFat 12
Convince him to play a theme song for evrything you do.
nublets 12
'and now shes posting on fml..'
Feared 9
Yeah. Except pooping, and sex would become pretty awkward.
JayJaysGirl 0
Start calling your boyfriend 'Polly'...get it? Like a parrot?(;
Peach3 1
2: I was thinking the same thing! That would be hilarious!
addiizcherry 0
Now my GF slowly walks to the computer with a determined face! Boom! She quickly goes to fmylife.com and types in how she thinks I'm annoying. She waits for 3 hours to be moderated. She checks back and her post has been confirmed. Mission accomplished.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
Does he narrate when your giving him a ********? cause that would be ...awesome!
MuziKMajoR 5
Says OP's BF: "Now she is going up, now she is going down now she is going up now she is going down now she is getting off now she is mad at me now she is going to bed now she is snoring she is breathing in out in our in out....now i have to leave"
Tali147 16
My boyfriend does that! He does it in a British accent. It's cute at first, but gets super annoying.
TurnpikeTwister 0
Knock him out
AllSoul 23
Peter Griffin?
LaughinStock 16
lol imagine that..have a theme song for everything you do.
nerobluerose 10
More like Randy Newman after the apocalypse.
laughterislife 2
Left foot right foot
marit1997 4
i walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table...
Chad_the_Brony 0
Hahahhahahaha! No.
poprocksss73 7
I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a grimace at the questionable meal Lois had placed in front of me. Of course I'd never tell her how disgusted I was with her cooking, but somehow I think she knew. Lois had always been full of energy and life, but lately I had begun to grow more aware of her aging. The bright, exuberant eyes that I had fallen in love with were now beginning to grow dull and listless with the long fatigue of a weary life... ... I woke several hours later in a daze.
whadupdoe 0
tell him you'll blow him if he stops. that should do the trick
TPSerigne 9
"and here she is now, licking it like a strawberry ice cream cone."
deviable 9
Then he'll know that he'll get a bj if he does it again. She needs to kick him in the balls every time he does it, that'll get him to stop.
danni218 1
sit on his face...
Inheritance 10
Better yet say no sex then he'll stop lol
BatteryAddict 11
At least you wont lose your keys/phone etc.
xFluttershy 7
"There she is in her natural habitat.. Gracefully making a sandwich... such a magnificent sight to behold.."
birdfreak 24
Is your name Lois?
niznor99 6
I just stalked your profile. O.o
French_Toast_fml 3
Look at the bright side: you get to feel like a star athlete with somebody doing a play-by play of everything you do!
bball234 6
now all you have to do is record him, and in a year or two, you have a feature film called "An Average Girl" that will win awards for no reason.
FUUUandyourmom 16
Now all you need is some dramatic background music.
The_Troller 14
OP should get one of her friends to hum epic music as her boyfriend narrates.
Redoxx_fml 22
"And then she typed angrily on her computer all the while telling me to stop narrating"
Fluhz 6
That what I was gonna say! Haha!
lyflycat9297 4
You sir, win the Internet.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
If he does it in a Morgan Freeman voice, he is awesome.
Ray_of_midnight 23
If she's hearing a Morgan Freeman voice, it's probably just Freemanic paracusia.
stevenJB 25
Itd be just as cool to have Seth Rouen narrating
stevenJB 25
Rogen* sry auto correct