Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend stays over. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
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Top comments
dannyboy66 7
Forever lonely..........
Grimmerie 31
please tell me you act everything out, too. "oh edwardcakes, your skin is cold like something that was in the fridge." "my dearest laura, you are the prettiest babysitter ever. you are like a babysitter to my heart. let us touch lips." "oh yes, let's do that." /air makeouts /air groping /air humping /airgasm
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Comments (119)
dannyboy66 7
Forever lonely..........
ZeroIce 12
Forever Alone D:
LadyLexi 0
Forever Fired :O
dre_bro11 12
OP, will you get the footage up on YouTube for us?
GraceKathryn97 0
Exactly!!!!
thaCODgod 4
Crazy
hatersgunnahat 0
csalem901 0
Tumblr?(:
mfjkr 10
I was Forever Alone before it went mainstream.
ScaughtieHolden 11
If you didn't know they were recording you, w/ sound, they're violating your First Amendment rights.
glenzhao2 16
At least you weren't neglecting their kid
Symmetry88 0
1- your picture goes amazingly with that comment.
jemnerz 2
I love your picture!
caitiebug1119 15
No, they have a right to protect their kids. If she was cussing and blasting obscene music, which you can only tell from a video with sound, I'd fire her. I wouldn't tell her she's being monitored so I can see what she does when she thinks she's not being watched. Nowhere in the Bill of Rights does it say no one can record your embarrassing vocal moments. The First Amendment says no one can tell you "You can't say that just because I say so". You can say whatever you want as long as it's reasonable (not threatening, hurtful, racist, etc.).
Senior29 8
u'll be youtube star soon :)
underguarded 20
I see a nipple
Senior29 8
u better not be a guy :p
zombicidal 11
screw that she'll be on Broadway acting to crowds of thousands every night the play shall be called the lonely sitter
Senior29 8
lets not push her hopes :p
jizzwold 21
You should be a play write.
Jenmaree 9
Man, I sure hope so :D
barlessprison 16
Sweet baby jesus. I've heard of talking to yourself but this takes it to a whole new level.
minisquid 9
Did anyone think of Gollum muttering "Preciousssssss....." when they read this?
shutterbug1190 14
Forever alone taken to a whole new level... I don't think there is a way for you to play this one off... Lol oh man hahaha
WhitneyRuinous 6
Does your "boyfriend" have a brother. ;)
WhitneyRuinous 6
*?
dreamering 16
Tell them, you're an actor and you were rehearsing, just in case they ask.
Daralea 21
Until they get to the part where she was making out with herself...
RiddleMePancake 12
*ahem* or the next thing
bbailey19 3
Just tell them you're a drama major. You might get a reccomandation.
05559 1
Your DP is so expressive.
KennKenn 0
Careful, he might dump you for an imaginary woman.
macdaddymady 8
Or Casper
Grimmerie 31
please tell me you act everything out, too. "oh edwardcakes, your skin is cold like something that was in the fridge." "my dearest laura, you are the prettiest babysitter ever. you are like a babysitter to my heart. let us touch lips." "oh yes, let's do that." /air makeouts /air groping /air humping /airgasm
daemonmatrix 8
Oh man I almost did a spit take, LOL it's too early for this...
underguarded 20
I completely lost it after fridge. Then again at airgasm.
TheFunnyzach 3
#36, you offering?
crinx034 0
This comment is too magnificent for words.
MerrikBarbarian 9
omfg I died laughing when I imagined this!
ShyAnn29 15
That was too funny!!!
smartash20 0
Hilarious!!!!
TheFunnyzach 3
#53 damn.
doogy15 11
#72 don't be rude you gotta send random nudes to her before you go strait for the party. =D
TheFunnyzach 3
#89 unfortunately, I'm very slightly underage, so that would be illegal. Otherwise, Hellz yeah.
Smeelover27 15
Someone get this person an award!
jsturaveragegirl 5
Ydi for being psycho. Get a lid creeper
slushpup9696 12
What are lid creepers?