Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my parents leave the baby monitor in my room when my boyfriend stays over. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML
Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML
Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML
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Top comments
dannyboy66 7
Forever lonely..........
Grimmerie 31
please tell me you act everything out, too. "oh edwardcakes, your skin is cold like something that was in the fridge." "my dearest laura, you are the prettiest babysitter ever. you are like a babysitter to my heart. let us touch lips." "oh yes, let's do that." /air makeouts /air groping /air humping /airgasm
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Comments (119)
krysxkatastrophe 14
Tell them you knew about the camera and decided to make a movie. Maybe they'll give you an Oscar for best male lead.
perdix 31
I'm thinking the videos would be priceless if she did the boyfriend as Antoine Dodson.
ImDB8 0
Well if they've still let u babysit then obviously they like the performance
kareltje 17
I can see the next FML coming already: Today, while I was babysitting (and being recorded as usual) the nice boyfriend I pretended to have/be admitted he cheated on me with my imaginary best friend and got her pregnant. He broke up with me ON CAMERA, for god's sake! FML.
kareltje 17
Would SO love to see the FML team turn this into a video! Uuuh... oh... right... :oD
kateheartswaffle 0
Just say you were acting out a script for drama club! Easy.
ZeroMachine 3
Those cameras usually don't pick up sound, or at least don't pick it up very well. You might have nothing to worry about, but you should probably knock off the creepy shit from now on.
Dcm210 19
I talk to myself but not like that?
legresley85 1
Sweet heart, you need to get a life. Stop defining your life and yourself, with a real or in this case fake boyfriend. It sounds like you might be emotionally disturbed. Get a hobby and get out and meet people, stop worrying about getting a boyfriend, it will happens when it happens. You might not want to seem crazy however because this will slow down the process significantly.
war_turtle810 5
O__O! forever alone forever lookin