Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML
Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, I got caught sniffing a rat, and now my boss is forcing me to be tested for the black death and is "terrified" that I made everyone sick, and says I may be fired from my job as a pediatric anesthesiologist. FML
Today, I've loved for years that my boyfriend works at an animal shelter, but I learned from his coworker that he’s the guy that puts the animals to sleep, full time, sometimes 30 a day. Now I’m disgusted to sit in the same room as him, because he always says he loves his job. FML
Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML
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Top comments
Zebediabolical 45
Plot twist: It wasn't the nerve that made it twitch.
jenn1808 16
Sounds like a pretty unpleasant job to begin with. I hope that it's for a good cause; animal research always makes me really sad.
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Comments (94)
vandeele 8
I hate you people who use animals for research and lab testings. Its wrong! Next time, you get on the exam table and I'll drain all of your blood out of your body, you sick bastard.
kozzard 17
because they are obviously using living animals, not preparing cadavers for long term storage
rocker_chick105 31
And research on animals hasn't gotten us anywhere scientifically.
Zebediabolical 45
If we had human volunteers, say every single member of PETA, maybe we wouldn't have to experiment on animals. But until we do, we'll have to.
astralvagan 20
I'm sure the animal was already dead and didn't mind....
mimiminx 23
#41 - I presume you don't and wouldn't take any medicines ever then?
limabeans101029 21
I can pretty much guarantee that animal research has benefited your life (and most people's lives) in some way or another. Sometimes there is an alternative to animal research, but sometimes it really is just necessary. Deal with it.
Audiobliss 9
I've gotta say that it's not surprising to have found this comment here. A brash remark made by a person that speaks before they have all the facts. Beyond even that, that they value the life of a non-sentient animal over a human, doesn't shock me. It almost makes sense that they would then threaten a human life with a violent death. The bullshit claim of respect for life makes this a TRUE joke. FYL.
emeraldcedes 7
Yea, because the animal wasn't dead before they dissected it. People have been studied. Ever read the book "Flesh Market"? You should. It's a book about the studies of humans in the 1800s. Doctors would purposely eff up surgeries just to examine the body afterwards. Figure out how it worked. We can do that to you if that's what you wish. No? Didn't think so. So... let's use dead animals instead, mmmmkay?
horneyhic 15
Accually we do that to humans it's the first step of embalming
sonnyrosa 32
I'm so sorry for laughing so hard at your fear, but the mental image of someone cleaning the blood from an animal and then having it twitch, resulting in that someone nearly ******** themselves and screaming like a little girl... well that's just a great way to start my Monday morning. In all seriousness though, aren't you a little too old to be afraid of zombies? I can understand the twitch making you jump, well, because the critter is dead and you don't really expect stuff like that from dead things, but a fear of zombies? Shouldn't you fear things that are a little more realistic? Like rabid unicorns in army tanks?
meouch 6
That's freaking creepy
hellox3howlow 17
I worked as a neuroscience intern for almost a year, and the profusion of blood out of animals was probably the most unnerving thing I observed! Almost every time I saw someone profuse a rat, it moved violently or even squirted blood. The career is definitely not for the faint of heart (I, myself, realized I couldn't bear to see animals in pain all the time) but we did manage to discover some things that will help alleviate the symptoms of epilepsy, discover why exactly people get it, and hopefully cure it completely in the future. It's a noble profession, OP, hopefully you aren't as squeamish as me and can do it. :)
spunkylady 24
I feel your pain, OP. I also have a horrible fear of zombies.
Mynameislinh 24
How can I take this encouraging comment seriously, with that profile picture?!
juice723 9
Oh God the image in my mind only makes that more terrifying
Ambient25 25
you can try and NOT judge a book by its cover
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Where the hell do you work?
middlenamefrank 8
Your "fear of zombies"? What are you, twelve? I'll agree that draining an animal of blood is pretty gruesome business, and I'm not sure I'd be willing to do the work you do, but you actually thought that animal was re-animating?