Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML
Today, I work as a butcher at my local supermarket. I was about to clear my area for the night to find that some assbucket has put “Fuck Joe Biden” stickers all over the frozen turkeys. I had to remove them. Even when I did, there was still sticker residue on them. FML
Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML
Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, I lost my job. Why? Because I'm taking care of my dying mother. My boss actually said, "Well, if she dies today, we can hold your job." FML
Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML
Today, it has been my lifelong dream to work with animals. My dream sorta came true. I now work at the slaughterhouse. FML
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Top comments
hoschiadedodi 0
I'd never leave a good job just to return to family. A good job is the basis for a happy, thus healthy, life. I'm not a workaholic. So YDI. Unless there's a family member that couldn't move and needs you to care for.
Peroxide 3
You left your good job to be with your family. It was your decision so harden the **** up.
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Comments (83)
FreddyLunch 0
Delicious!
The_Pleb 0
SECOND
AlexZB 0
you are cutting out it is stomach? maybe you'd find it easier to get a job if you knew when to use correct punctuation
raNDMGUy 5
some people get confused with the it's and its, if an apostrophe can be used as possession then it's a fair mistake to make, and it's the ******* internet, doesn't mean he deserves it
nazooer 11
Lol, i love how #53 is being a... punctuation nazi? Even though they can't bother to use periods or capitalize
RachelTM 0
It's fixed! ;-)
narks 0
Better than sticking your finger up a live turkey's ass, cutting open its stomach and ripping out its guts.
ncurtsak 0
wow just grow up
H3YG1RL 0
Lol I love how you didn't capitalize your "I", and didn't end your last sentence with a period.
rc024 0
Impressive....
Sun_Kissed18 25
in this economy ANY job is. Stop complaining!
americayay 0
That and OP freaking CHOSE this job over his/her terrific and fabulous job. Maybe they could've waited for a different opportunity. Either way, OP, you made the decision all on your own, so shut the **** up.
Aldebaran_fml 0
Agreed, you chose to left you "amazing" job and took the only one.....so shut up and open turkeys. YDI.
hoschiadedodi 0
I'd never leave a good job just to return to family. A good job is the basis for a happy, thus healthy, life. I'm not a workaholic. So YDI. Unless there's a family member that couldn't move and needs you to care for.
Jerakl 21
This.
Peroxide 3
You left your good job to be with your family. It was your decision so harden the **** up.
The_Big_Mac 7
amen
unFmyLife 0
I'm not going to say you deserve it ... but it is your fault. It was your decision. My family (I.E my parents and sisters) live VERY far from me. Like on a different continent far. I think of going back to them all the time. Life would be soooo much easier, but I don't because if I did I would have to get a job about as crappy as the one that you just got thus wasting my education and opportunities. I see your point it is tough without your family, but sometimes you just gotta stick it out.
pawpaw_fml 0
And in Missouri, way to go. Man (or woman) up, take a deep breath and take the plunge into those turkeys. At least you have a halfway decent college football team in Mizzou to watch.
blastvortex 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The phrase "15 per minute" is not a sentence. Oh, and the choice was yours, so YDI.
IgniteMe28 0
bitch please. this is the inter-webs.
Soup_fml 0
At least you'll have a fun conversation starter at Thanksgiving.
crazyjack 0
the last sentence should've been "i'm vegan." xD
EqualycrazyyJen 0
haha I would never even put in an application for that job, let alone quit a good job for it. (Vegetarian (: )
BeeSkwaird 0
its =/= it's