Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML
Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
Today, I've always been a healthy person with a normal body and average BMI. My husband is a fitness freak with a super body. When I expressed interest in starting working out, he laughed at me and said, "Trust me, you're not the fitness kind. I've tried." What hurt me most is that it's true. FML
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
Well, if it does happen...contact me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D
MagicGiraffe 12
Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!
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Comments (189)
fordman22 0
Tell him you have a new workout outfit ;)
izzy7 11
Whatever works! ;-)
OddFutureLove42 5
I believe the correct term is " Zombie Apocalypse " .
richieflow 3
That's awesome
dieselguy82 0
Sweetheart if the puss isnt making him jump at your feet time to spice it up a little
little_one 20
I'd work out too if there was a chance of a zombie apocolypse that ***** scary as **** and the slow person always dies
jayhawkchik 4
Rule # 1) Cardio Rule # 2) double tap
wironandine 8
Zombie stuff sure is getting old
kykupkake21 3
I believe the correct term is zombie apocalypse. :)
eccentrix 12
Not if we're all as prepared as this guy.
SimplyEerb 3
It's scary how prepared our generation is for a zombie apocalypse. Ahah.