Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML
Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
Today, I've always been a healthy person with a normal body and average BMI. My husband is a fitness freak with a super body. When I expressed interest in starting working out, he laughed at me and said, "Trust me, you're not the fitness kind. I've tried." What hurt me most is that it's true. FML
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
Well, if it does happen...contact me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D
MagicGiraffe 12
Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (189)
Sandman578737 0
Why does he need to work out if he's happy you should be too
cevogelpohl 1
That's actually pretty frickin hilarious if you ask me!
Blah201 6
That's why I do it
life_lol 0
I'll take my 308 and snipe them off all day and night At over a 1,000 yards. Never James and is reliable. And my shotgun for the fun bloody splatter party. What's up now.
jollyton 10
This was funny as f(%#*!!!! You husband is too much!!!!! LMFAO!!! Really!!! LMFAO!!!
fabcade 14
Hilarious!!!!! This isn't an FML
moova 3
That would even work on me!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why are you trying to get your husband to work out? I hope it's only because you want him to be healthy and you're not a shallow jerk who wants him to look a certain way in order to be attracted to him. Guys do it to girls (they all want sticks), so it wouldn't surprise me if girls did it to guys.
llamaduckllama 1
Well, remember the first rule of Zombieland is cardio...
dead_insects 18
what if he doesn't want to work out? leave him alone...