Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML
Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML
Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML
Today, I've always been a healthy person with a normal body and average BMI. My husband is a fitness freak with a super body. When I expressed interest in starting working out, he laughed at me and said, "Trust me, you're not the fitness kind. I've tried." What hurt me most is that it's true. FML
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
Well, if it does happen...contact me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D
MagicGiraffe 12
Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!
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Comments (189)
hamusta 13
How come that a girl can tell her boyfriend to work out without anybody reacting, but if a guy tells his girlfriend to he's a bastard who want to see her become anorexic?
arngGI2005 2
I must disagree on, the AK47. That is not the weapon of chose for most people who have actual shot a rifle or assault rifle. The .556 and or the .223 would be a better chooses. The ammunition is cheaper an will be easer to find. More than likely the best and cheapest weapon and ammo would be a .22.
crazylady_0227 7
303 are nice for long rang but if your going to have them get close shottie to the face will work
1SxcBuNnii 10
That's a serious matter ! Don't joke about zombie :p I have enough call of duty experience though we should be fine
MommaSchmidt 14
I should try that with my husband! he loves zombie stuff...
daidax_238 26
Guys just lock yourselves in a bunker with lots of canned food. If you stay down there long enough, the zombies will decay and die out and you can say you survived the zombie apocalypse without really doing anything