Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Paranoid
Today, my wife tried to forbid me from going to the gym anymore because in public she looks fat stood next to me and it’s embarrassing. She picked me up from the gym yesterday and saw all the “thin gym sluts” I prefer to spend my time with instead of her. God, I’m sick of her lazy jealous BS. FML
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
You what now?
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Insecure
Today, after my wife said I could decide what to do with our spare room, I decided to make a home gym. She hasn't stopped ranting about "patriarchal diet culture" and "unrealistic body expectations" since. I just wanted to get fit. FML
We're the main characters
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Maddening
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Nice.
Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML
Top comments
reshikrom 14
So stop for a little while and tell her she can't complain when you get fat.
uchua 16
Marriage logic.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
uchua 16
Marriage logic.
staychill 16
Ignore her...continue working out and staying healthy op!
Jowisee 29
I wouldn't ignore her, this is a sign of serious trust issues and perhaps some other mental health problems. Has she been cheated on in the past, or abused by a previous partner?
reshikrom 14
So stop for a little while and tell her she can't complain when you get fat.
AnalAssassin1 14
I don't think he should stop to prove her wrong. There should be trust.
FrietvanPiet 16
Damaging your own body to prove a point sounds a bit stupid.
PsychicBulwark 4
And then he can die of heart disease 30 years early, laughing all the way. Haha, he showed her!
ShirtlessWonder 17
#45 oh look, another person who doesn't understand how fat and heart disease work.
domolovesyoshi 33
That would actually do the opposite it would prove her right. Trust me I know how these neurotic freaks work, she'd turn it around to still be right.
uchua 16
#41 don't you know that winning any argument in a relationship is worth it no matter what the cost! All is fair in love war!
Mobetta_2300 22
Go into a fake slump where u just sit in a recliner all day. Then when she gets mad happily workout
Peacelove0404 26
Good on you, OP, for working on your physique. That's a good goal to be working on, regardless of marital status
ProximityToDeath 20
As a female myself, I still don't understand how the female brain works. I wish you luck deciphering it.
holyglamgrenade 16
There are actually a lot of studies to support her logic. It may not necessarily be that she is neurotic, so much as it is the media making people insecure about their significant others.
lala150 24
Agreed, and OP's attitude probably isn't helping her insecurities (calling her a neurotic wreck gives me the impression that he's a little disrespectful rather than trying to help her through her insecurities).
rileyrae0000 23
Yeah I agree with you. I understand the wife's suspicion but that also doesn't mean she is justified in being completely neurotic about it. It really depends on how the marriage is doing apart from this situation.
theaaxis 27
Exactly! How can you expect her to trust you when here you are using viciously critical vocabulary to describe her! I have an anxiety disorder (considering how common her views are, I doubt she does as well pending further evidence) and if my partner ever used words like that I would feel very deeply hurt. What a horrible way to speak about the woman you vowed to love for life.
plan_Z 14
We have no idea what she is like normally in a day to day manner. For all we know she smells his dirty laundry for perfume or regularly demands his phone to make sure he's only contacting women she approves of (family and her, female friends are all ****** trying to sleep with him.).
SolarLunix 21
Still, as other comments have said, she could have an anxiety disorder. If my husband started to work out I'd be crazy anxious too. And if she does smell his clothing or look for lipstick there could be a good reason. She could've been cheated on in the past. As for the phone, if you wouldn't let your wife or husband see your phone and messages, there is A LOT of reason to worry. My husband and I put the same password for all our devices so that if the other is feeling insecure we can just go check.
SneezyBear 27
#35 I'm sorry guys but people are perfectly allowed to have their boundaries. My fiance is a bit insecure due to having been cheated on in the past, and so I am much more patient with him than I would be with other guys. Even still, I've made it very clear he is NOT ever allowed to accuse me of cheating. I am an open book with him, and that is saying a LOT for me because I am normally indigant about my right to privacy and trust, and in return I expect him to grant me enough respect not to accuse me of anything. He is allowed to ask the most ludicrous questions, I will work through his insecurities with him, and if he is outright uncomfortable with any guy friend I have or any situation I am in I will listen to him and do whatever I can within reason to make him feel better but he must never accuse, or I WILL flare with righteous indignation. It's incredibly hypocritical to ask OP to put up with his wife's flaws while flaming OP for responding thus. For all we know 'neurotic wreck' is mild compared to what the wife said.
PsychicBulwark 4
There are a lot, huh? That's awesome. So, can you point to 10 that show people who elect to improve their physical conditioning are doing so for purposes of infidelity? Peer reviewed journals only, please. Your issues of Cosmo and InTouch Weekly don't count.
ballislife2324 14
I agree with op. This fml and the way u people are responding is a total gender role. The wife is sad so she needs to be talked to but if a guy did what op's wife did then Everyone would be screaming dump him, he is controlling. That's so one way thinking. Listen this is how it works if op's wife can't handle him going to the gym then she should get out cuz going to the gym isn't even that big of a deal
ChopSuey444 20
I think his wife should work out with him if possible. Spending that time with him would put her insecurities at ease and probably strengthen their relationship as a whole. I don't agree with him calling her a neurotic wreck, no matter what the case is. Just like when people post here about their children and call them "idiots". I'm sorry but there are some people you just shouldn't insult even in private.
zyero 9
Why is this being down voted? ******* hilarious
itooamscrewed 10
My advice would be the same. My fiancé gets into cycles of insecurity where he accuses me of cheatingor wanting to and we talk about it. I ask why he would think something like that and it's always because he's feeling down about himself. We talk through it and that's what OP should do.
shawnaishere 14
Maybe you should encourage her to work out with you? Or make up something like, you want others to notice that you're looking even better with marriage
townailz 16
Show off your new body and give it to her good! Maybe then she'll stop complaining!
PANDORUM89 21
well did you just start to work out, out of the blue? have a discussion with her because honestly that IS a sign that an affair could be happening. She's not neurotic because of this, maybe in other areas...