Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, I picked my son up from school, and asked how his day went. He told me how his friend explained to him that his mommy snorts sugar with his uncle, and if he could try what his friend's mom calls "Booger sugar" when we got home. FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML
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Top comments
_streets_ 19
When I was little my cousin told me that the name of the show I loved was actually called ****..lets just say the next day the worker at my daycare was very concerned when I said I liked watching **** and that it made me happy. Fyl op, I hope the teacher wasnt too big of a dick about the situation.
Charmillionaire 13
I might add that it's a good thing the children don't know what that is, but with this generation... I just can't be too sure.
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Comments (33)
Faff 20
who cares what the teacher thinks? Yóu are the parent, so you're the one that's going to take care of this.
BlackPhenom 9
True that but the teacher will be the first to blame and point at the parent in question
aFreedom127 9
After all, ******** are the new kiss goodnight!
taka805 10
Nice!!!!
oj101 33
Who doesn't love ********? Er... I mean Hershey's Kisses.
GTAmax99 12
Ah well some people like both
pickles1994 18
Just like how some people like giving them... But most like receiving them;)
Catkam623 27
I've never given either, Hershey's because there too good, bj's cause I'm a guy
missyj0 12
you don't give ******** because you're straight, not because you're a guy.
abu4u 26
Lol. Just lol.
DocBastard 40
I guarantee that isn't the worst thing the teacher has heard. Kindergarteners are pretty disgusting creatures - one girl told my daughter she wanted to sniff her ass. It's all about perspective.
Mkymouse 2
My husband's brother got in a fight with his teacher because he thought that cow was a horse in a horse was a cow because that's what his dad him...
gmian 34
... what?
DanielleinDC 34
The issue you have here is that your son knows what a ******* is!
MidnaLink 35
Ever consider the son's just a stupid teenager, who most likely would know what a bj is.
sinner92 4
I dont know it's a little weird that the boy is talking to his baby sister about bjs
vinnyc1 5
Whoa!!!!
davek 36
Now /there's/ a good story for him to tell during the speeches at her wedding reception.