Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
Today, I found out that my overweight daughter’s teacher starved her during a pizza party. She made her wait an hour until the entire class got a slice and their seconds. When it was her turn, there was only one tiny slice. According to her, she, “looks like she hasn’t missed a meal, she’ll be alright.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jazziness 12
that's gross what's wrong her cat food is the thing now
DocBastard 40
No, no, they misheard her. She said "dog, fool". Though I'm not sure that's any better...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (34)
jazziness 12
that's gross what's wrong her cat food is the thing now
brainsoverbeauty 21
I moderated this. It seems to have been edited. I believe OP stated it was beef stew which explains why the daughter may have thought it was dog food.
IHaveThePower 18
@brainsoverbeauty, to be honest, even if the kid had actually snuck some dog food, kids do that kind of thing. They'll put just about anything in their mouths. If it's not toxic, you generally just sigh and explain (for the nteenth time) that 'human food' is a distinct category and does not include whatever just went in their mouths. There was a strict 'you may only put things in your mouth that are human food' rule for a while at our house when my youngest sister was little...
TeeHee124 0
my cow can fly
urdirtyolduncle 15
What a bitch!
djrox11 0
haha i get it
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I used to eat cat food when I was like 5 XD
terranada 3
well maybe you shouldn't feed your daughter dog food?
EatnBeef 7
why not? perfectly nutritious , you get your bread, meat, and whatever else they put in that slop
EatnBeef 7
why not? perfectly nutritious , you get your bread, meat, and whatever else they put in that slop
jsmathwiz 2
Better than I...
athena3100 9
My dogs eat raw meat. Its so much better than that grain shit. if i didnt start feeding them raw one of my dogs would have been dead years ago! ?
dirtyblond 4
i see shes ur..uhhh..pet
insanesna1l 0
sit...stay...now fetch daddy a beer and I'll open the tin for you
Thanatos1206 0
YDI for having such bad cooking
JustinThunder 8
It'd be worse if they didn't have a dog.
DocBastard 40
No, no, they misheard her. She said "dog, fool". Though I'm not sure that's any better...
Doortje 30
No, no, she said "Doc's foot". That's why walking has been so hard for you today.
SarahStarzz 0
15 win !! :) that made me laugh lol
Acousticpixie14 6
No no no...she said "Doc's poop" See he finally shat out that bottle and she just couldn't resist.
Edsterr 0
haha! this little chain has some entertaining entries.
69_jackson_69 0
No, you've all got it wrong. She said, "Insert witty comment here!"
africanelephants 7
is there something wrong with that? crap I guess I have to go buy food then.....
GallifreyDog 2
YDI for feeding her dog food
illmatic2 16
One time, when I was younger, I thought my dog's food was Cocoa-Coa Puffs.... Never made that mistake again.
illmatic2 16
*Cocoa Puffs
ar3llano 0
i know how you feel haha
Flyngdthmnkys 0
I did that when I was little too, apparently I thought it was chocolate cherrios... before chocolate cherrios were real. x.X
erikaa916 0
#22- Win.
xxhaleyxx95 0
hahha me too
Jzoajsjqijshsoap 0
chocolate cheerios?!?!?!?!
SarahStarzz 0
haha