Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
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Top comments
NiceGuyz 0
You should beat his disobedient ass!
Free_Candy 0
It better be trident layers.
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Comments (187)
muchagente 5
if you plug the keyhole with some of the gum, you can sleep safe again and still have some gum left. good deal all-in-all.
perdix 31
Why is the age of your son relevant? Shouldn't you be more worried about the age of the dude who bought the key, as well as his criminal record and desire for MILFs?
mekora 6
The whole point is you would expect a child of around 6 to make that kind of trade, not 16. Someone who is halfway through their teens should not be that stupid.
perdix 31
Well, yeah, that's a good point, but not the whole one. I'd be much more concerned about the identity of the key's new owner.
GardeningHoes 0
"Someone out there who I've never met" seems to cover it nicely.
gmc_blossom 21
Yes, what if that kid's friend is a weirdo? What if he is a thieve and when no ones home comes and steals something? What if he is like Peter Pettigrew and sells the kid's key, his friend's key, to a murderer? What if someone is in love with the mom in that household? What if the kid survives? What if someone hates the dad and has too look at the dunderhead of a kid for 6 years, being reminded of bad times. Trust me on this, I've been there. :(
davek 36
Sounds like someone ought to be taking the short bus.
JurassicHole 5
Hey, it could have been trident layers.
perdix 31
I wonder what your idiot kid will sell me for a Klondike bar!
wmsdubstep 6
His moms car, probably.
aPieceOfFruit 16
You've got yourself the next president right there.....
GraceKathryn97 0
Haha at least he didn't give it away for free...he got GUM!!!!! Ha
vickycat 5
Definitely change the locks and make him pay for it. On top of that I would say your son shouldn't get a copy of the new keys. Explain that he has demonstrated poor judgement and put the safety and security of your home at risk. Simply, he will need to prove that he is mature enough to handle the responsibility of a key. This punishment will restrict him a bit and hopefully he will come to understand that rights come with responsibilities. Actually, if you haven't already done something like this, then the whole thing is your fault for shitty parenting and YDI.
littlefootpimpin 0
Haha...dumbass
byteolu 0
Dont be mean
xjt350 5
Let her be mean...the kid is a dumb ass
SolemnlyLove 7
srsly i know you shouldnt but just fkn beat him...that dumbass deserves it