Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
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Top comments
NiceGuyz 0
You should beat his disobedient ass!
Free_Candy 0
It better be trident layers.
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Comments (187)
MonkeyGirl17844 0
Replace the locks and ground him for a couple monthes!
GamerMatt97 0
Change locks and call the cops
sociology 0
yay what u gonna say to the cops? my son traded keys to my house for gum come on I bet it wasn't even gum
mini01_fml 0
lmao.!!
sociology 0
just change the locks
KGabehart9 0
By the way, thanks for the key dude! See you tonight "mom"
robberry 11
The kid who negotiated your house for a piece of gum should become a lawyer or a stock broker!
KGabehart9 0
By the way, thanks for the key dude! See you tonight "mom"
itouchuser77 8
Easy solution murder your son... or change the locks...
Simpson143 2
I hope your son at least shared his gum with you!
jb5794 1
good luck with that:D