Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my son's dad stole his unemployment card and took the money. My son was homeless at the time and using his dad's address for mail. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, after a week out of town, I came home to discover my front door unlocked. I was greeted by a reeking old lady and her gorging obese middle-aged daughter with a "Who the fuck are you?" and "What are you doing in my son's house?" Said son is the former owner, from whom I legally bought this house four years ago. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML
Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML
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Top comments
NiceGuyz 0
You should beat his disobedient ass!
Free_Candy 0
It better be trident layers.
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Comments (187)
zaydawg 0
wtf
cherrylover88 4
well what kind of gum was it?
alisidewinder 9
depends on the gum, the zebra stripe gum a total rip off. but trident layers. totally worth it
xjt350 5
Disagree that zebra gum is the shit :)
mhnilo88 0
Make him get a job to pay for the locks to get changed.
jayzus123 0
when you need something you need somethinhg
guitarplayer546 0
Let's trade places I'll Come to Australia and he can come to Canada
cooxoxo 9
The gum is worth it though :)
Peloponesse 0
you know what they say, a son is like a parent when they're younger, he traded a house key for half a pack of gum, you traded you're body to a crusty old man for half a bag of crystal meth
ifeelya 5
thats why parents don't, or should not have give their children house or car keys. YDI.
JoHire 0
There are times kids need a key though, parents work and kids get home from school they need to be able to get in their house. I had a key to my house for me and my brother from age 7 and I never would have traded it for candy or gum.. Thats just horrible judgement on OPs son. Definitely change locks then make your son go to a babysitters until you or your husband is home to unlock the house for him. It may piss him off but it will teach him not to be stupid about important things like house keys. Then maybe you can make him earn that privilege back.
crazygurlzz1 5
hahhaha ur son sound cool(: