Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML
Today, I found a wallet on the pavement and took it to a police station. The officer opened it, looked at the ID, and said the owner lived two streets from me. I went back outside and nearly walked into said neighbour. He recognised his wallet immediately and hugged me. He then asked if I could also return his missing cat. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was getting groceries and realized at checkout that I forgot my wallet. The cashier gave me a sympathetic look as I frantically tried to unlock my phone to pay with an app, and watched as I accidentally called my ex on speakerphone. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
You poor, naive, innocent soul. ...What a lucky pickpocket.
HonestTruth 5
I have no words besides these: Look at my avatar.
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Comments (80)
ryanLinke 4
good job.
hahasooo 2
We are all clearly not that bright..hint hint to OP.
JKr3slEMO 5
I probably would've went on stalker mode to get it back..
TheFamilyElf 17
You poor, naive, innocent soul. ...What a lucky pickpocket.
AugustBurnsToast 14
Sort of a nice guys finish last scenario. It sucks to see kind people get taken advantage of. :/
citymayer 7
That is the most important thing I learned in France. Don't let strangers touch you. Ever.
doctorhook86 25
37: Yes, once they manage to grab you they stick their tongue down your throat.
FML_Master2133 6
Keep your wallet in your front pocket in busy places. And maybe your hand in that pocket too.
SenselessPattern 12
And if you're really unlucky in France, you'll be taken and sold as a sex slave in an underground market run by Armenians. Hopefully you have a dad with a particular set of skills.....
citymayer 7
It's worse than that! They try to sell you little string bracelets! (so their buddy's can easily spot you and steal your stuff later on)
daisiebud 18
He probably laughed his head off
dixiefoxx 22
I hope you get your wallet back.
zachherbert 10
I find it unlikely...not impossible, but unlikely.
dixiefoxx 22
Yeah, I know. That was one of my worst comments, forgive me.
MyaaBayyBee 6
Pay attention . . . ?
MotherHen88 4
Well he has no money now, so he can't pay anything.
KM96 24
15 - it is called a pun / play with words ... A joke ... Or do you not grasp this ?
dixiefoxx 22
18, I don't think number 15 quite grasps it, that's all.
G1ZZY 0
! HAHAHAH! I get it. :3
asoptavlo14 6
But apparently 49 did.
MedKits 9
I don't think 15 grasps much of anything, really.
Ecstasyyy 3
You aren't exactly the brightest crayon in the box..
Airman1988 9
or the sharpest knive in the knive set, start the anologies now!
AugustBurnsToast 14
Everyone has those duhh moments though. The 'can't find my glasses oh I'm wearing them' kind haha
trippythehippy 6
Ever get the feeling that some people are just wasting oxygen that YOU may need later in life??
False_Stupidity 42
He's not the sharpest axe on the chopping block.
jtthegr8 26
Better cancel credit cards if there are any...
xStaciexLynnx 15
Pretty sure that wallet is not being returned and cancellation/ renewal fees are about to be the least of OP's worries.
TheFamilyElf 17
I know I always keep awkward photos of myself in my wallet. Who doesn't?
dixiefoxx 22
Yeah, like, what if the OP had credit cards in his wallet? Oh, and I know, right, 9?
HonestTruth 5
I have no words besides these: Look at my avatar.
WiderWille 11
Don't you ever dare to change it in the future!
Mauskau 36
Fail.