Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed, "I love you." After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back, and said, "What kind of gun was it?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML
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Top comments
Stefany713 0
be careful...don't cheat on him lol
MarkSeattle 0
how could you *not* know he keeps a gun under his pillow?
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Comments (194)
hcar 0
One time I went outside at like 5 in the morning and my dad came at me with the gun.:P
LittleMissKyrie 0
dang just cuz of a surprise birthday cake? Well did he eat it? Was it good?
deadheroz 0
I thought it was really hard to get guns in the UK? But him sleeping with a gun isn't un-normal. He's just trying to stay un-dead.
Lissita89 0
Ydi He should be sleeping with a gun underneath his pillow. You and your friends came at him with a cake on fire. You should know better *sigh while shaking head* "I acted accordingly" - Foamy the Squirrel ^--- If no one knows what I'm talking about look up "Foamy the Squirrel"
scubadiver8888 0
lol 64 so true
aardvarkish 17
I do too. WTF were you thinking ?!
HeretoBlame 3
great picture in my head...
phatdaddy 0
I think just standing there going, "Bang!" isn't going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart for that.
phatdaddy 0
That was supposed to be a reply to #43. FML is messing up replies once again. This is getting old.
buckfasthero 0
Eddie Izzard?
phatdaddy 0
yup! Classic.
Ukjames1993 0
an englishman with a gun under his pillow YDI for dating James Bond
mdavis0529 14
So??
Jake951716 0
ydi because that's a good thing.