Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed, "I love you." After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back, and said, "What kind of gun was it?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Stefany713 0
be careful...don't cheat on him lol
MarkSeattle 0
how could you *not* know he keeps a gun under his pillow?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (194)
The__Redneck 7
I got a revolver within reach of the bed, shotgun on the book case, crossbow on the closet door, and a few knives here and there. You should be happy, OP, that your boyfriend has the means to protect himself and you rather than cave in to the nanny-state.
LabRats_fml 4
If you find WMDs under his pillow, tell george bush to apologize to Iraq
lobster69 0
that....is......AWESOME o:
rety1 13
how is this an fml? he's prepared for the worst. I have a countdown on my computer untill I'm old enough to own a shotgun.. but I've always been a bit of a gun enthusiast..
xn8gx 0
so how did the birthday song go? happy birthday to you, omg please don't shoot, don't point that gun at me dear ______, happy birthday to you
soccerlover1234 0
haha:) that's funny
dilqncho 1
Maybe he's had a tough life...how long have you known him? And how is this an FML?Noone died,right?
Ultimate_Cynic 0
In no way is this an FML. Now, if said gun had actually been discharged, it would have been different - but it isn't. Also, OP's boyfriend sounds like a smart guy. When dealing with humans, you can never be too careful.
bom32 0
You people are idiots its not illegal to have a gun in the UK you just need a license.
Gobsnoglin 0
I think that's a bit harsh. I've always heard that guns are illegal in the UK, even the police don't carry them. If this is not the case then so be it, but to call everyone an idiot for not knowing the laws from a tiny island full of fog-breathing bad-teeth-having soccer hooligans is a bit harsh. (that's right, I called it soccer!)
copywrong 0
The police don't carry them on everyday duties but at most airports or places where there is an actual security threat or a need for an armed police unit then they carry semi-automatic machine guns. Plus there are over 100,000 people with registered shot guns and many more who own guns for target shooting/ clay pigeons/that kind of thing - you just have to store them at the shooting range and have them licenced etc. you can call it soccer all you like - 90% of us won't fit into the particular stereotype your trying to troll but nice try :)
its_me_123 0
You need a licence to have shotguns and rifles in the uk, but all forms of pistol are illegal. Since it's unlikely that his pillow is big enough to get a shotgun/rifle under it I'd guess his gun is actually an illegal one.
Compass 0
It would have been a classic sitcom moment if he shot and the cake exploded.