Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed, "I love you." After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back, and said, "What kind of gun was it?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML
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Top comments
Stefany713 0
be careful...don't cheat on him lol
MarkSeattle 0
how could you *not* know he keeps a gun under his pillow?
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Comments (194)
corkyjazzy 0
Did you get shot
baby_gurl2405 0
wholy crap! Why the hell would you keep a gun under your pillow?! He must live in a bad part of town!
VraelVhalen 0
#183 LMFAO you have to be a dumbass to keep a handgun like a 9 mil or 45 under you pillow. A smart person has a shotgun for protection. In close quarters a handgun could shoot through walls and even into your neighbors house potentially harming someone. A shotgun will not do this. I recommend a 12 gauge.
tbwrb 0
"In close quarters a handgun could shoot through walls and even into your neighbors house potentially harming someone" Yes... imagine a gun being used to harm someone. That's a shocking thought that is.
MangaManiacNat 13
Its illegal in the UK to own a gun. You can own smooth barreled rifles but you need a license.
moneypenny_fml 0
good, I love people who own guns
briiana012 3
lmao that mustve been funny as hell
NinjaKiller920 1
is he black
AloysiusWeasley 15
Cool story bro, but how in the hell does your boyfriend have a gun small enough to fit under a pillow in the U.K.? I could be mistaken, but last I knew, even half the cops don't have guns over there, much less regular citizens. :/
tbwrb 0
Much less than half the police have guns, there's probably a handful of armed police officers per constabulary. There are a few civilians who have access to guns, legitimately for hunting and of course there is the criminal element. It's not mentioned but I'm guessing that the OP is in one of the larger cities, London, Manchester, Birmingham, Glasgow etc. gun crime tends to be a bit more common there than out in rural areas.
jase1705 0
how can ur man have a gun? no ordinary person in the uk has one...must be somesort of drug dealer :P
USMCalexwilcox 0
how on earth did you not know this?
mrf07960 0
did he shot someone?