Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML
Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed, "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
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Top comments
Jasim 17
She should've been smarter.
Exodiafinder687 58
That's not a good sine. You might want to go off on a tangent and discuss manners with her.
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Comments (79)
Jasim 17
She should've been smarter.
muzy 23
And that should have been your cue to turn around and leave her to her own devices, OP! Nothing more infuriating then an idiot with an imperious personality.
riddle143 15
#1 that would've been a good comeback. I'd say "you normally have to pay for the hot tutors, if I was hot do you think I'd be working for free?"
waaaaaaaat 5
grateful much
XxNekoLovexX 26
And you should have replied "And I hoped you wouldn't be such a little bitch, but we don't all get what we hoped for." :D
iwanttogotoparis 26
No wonder she need help with calculus, she probably only cares about dating and will probably end up a in a bad positing
Exodiafinder687 58
That's not a good sine. You might want to go off on a tangent and discuss manners with her.
teentee401 37
I came here to comment something clever, but after seeing this, what's the point?
Exodiafinder687 58
Well if you can write a third joke for me I will cosine it.
teentee401 37
Damn, you're good.
Zebediabolical 45
I wanted to be work all the angles and maybe be complementary. With something like 'My, you're looking mighty acute today!' Yeah, I know it's geometry not calc, but hey.
kmarshofmywindow 25
Cotangent. Coat and gent...lemen.
201chasew 22
It's okay #25. you tried, but puns just exceed your limits.
bluebluhblou 15
It's OK to be a little squared when you try to derive a math pun out of a limited number of puns. you can get confused and miss the point sometimes.
katachristic 19
It's okay 22, puns can be triggy.
pandalover69 26
I'm sorry but the way you spelled sign is really bugging me. I have never seen it spelled that way before, sadly it's one of those dumb words you can't really sound out. Good advice though.
Zebediabolical 45
I can't tell if this is the best troll ever or if it's just plain stupidity.
KellyTheBroker 7
I'm trying to derive a joke here, but I've lost my chain of thought.
tantanpanda 26
33, 35 and 54 are the only calc based puns, but hey, I love math puns! 49, don't hate, integrate.
The_Sadist 13
I see 2 options. 1) "Good, then you won't be distracted and we can focus on the math." 2) just do the slow up and down, nod..."Yeah....me too..."
cheeeksss 29
The second option sounds extremely tempting... But OP may be a kinder person than me and go with option 1.
tygerarmy 35
I would've said, "you hoped I be hotter, but then by your wording still think I'm hot, let's plot my hotness for when the H is greater than 0 but less than 10"
brandoneyez1 25
She watches too much **** .
Person58 17
A: Yeah well I kinda hoped you wouldn't be a bitch...
cheeeksss 29
So weird. I might think these things, but wouldn't have the audacity to say it out loud. Especially in front of the other person like that. Like how can people behave this way? It's astounding...
Brandi_Faith 34
I completely agree. I don't understand how people say this stuff out loud to someone else. Yes, we all may think it, but to say it to someone else's face? Crazy.
exoticwaved 9
You'll be surprised at the shit people say to strangers, especially in big cities like DC or New York.
prostar9993 15
I'm sure she will like you a lot more when she is working at McDonald's and posting fml's all day complaining about her life while you get somewhere with yours.