Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed, "I love you." After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back, and said, "What kind of gun was it?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML
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Top comments
Stefany713 0
be careful...don't cheat on him lol
MarkSeattle 0
how could you *not* know he keeps a gun under his pillow?
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Comments (194)
kuntageous 0
thankgod he didn't pull the trigger
lcfr822 0
don't surprise people who have paranoia, we keep self defense measures everywhere. My ex gf tried to surprise me but i didnt she was, i keep a homemade trip taser by the door.
anchorblondie49 0
guns don't kill people, People kill people. but the gun helps.
TiffanyBlews27 0
Oh my GOD!!!! I now love you!!! Hahahaha Rata-tat-tat! BANG!!! I don't think that's going to kill anyone. You'd have to be very dodgy in the heart. ;) (Do you have a FLAG??)
IchBeinEinTier 0
does anyone else think it's weird that her friends went to go wake up OP's boyfriend on his birthday? I'm friends with my boyfriend's friends but I'd be freaked out if they were all standing around my bed one morning....but that's just me...
QWERTYCommander 5
Why would you keep a gun under your pillow? Can't your head accidentally pull the trigger?
clecavs23 0
no?
saint_jimmy 0
How would one accomplish this?
mnbbv 0
I'm pretty sure it's an achievement in Modern Warfare 2 worth 300G (psst hey you. yes, you. the one who thinks this is real. it's not)
kb0mb 0
YDI for leaving the kitchen
DippinGrizzly907 27
If that's where you think a girl belongs, you obviously don't know what you're doing in bed
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Anybody else find it odd that they were just her friends? If my husband brought a bunch of his friends in to see me pre-coffee, I might go for a gun too. Some things lie beyond cake's redemptive powers.
lucious_mama 0
I completely agree with you irish
Youngmerc 0
lol sounds painful in a way
unmadebed 0
That is pretty scary.
scubadiver8888 0
I have a gun I never leave home without it Its also right under my bed but here in Nevada were cool like that