Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML
Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed, "I love you." After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back, and said, "What kind of gun was it?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML
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Top comments
Stefany713 0
be careful...don't cheat on him lol
MarkSeattle 0
how could you *not* know he keeps a gun under his pillow?
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Comments (194)
ludakriss 0
epic...heh
jarhead1775 0
Today I learned my boyfriend protects us. Fml.
specialagentziva 0
the firearms act, or something along those lines, says it's illegal for a civilian to own a gun in the uk...this is either fake or your bf packs a water gun.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
How do you know the bf's a civilian?
arsenalfcboy 6
This is very unlikely be true, guns are pretty much totally illegal over here.
alin123 0
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
xtx123 0
Hmmm, well I guess it could have been worse. No big deal.
goddessunleashed 0
I guess this means that he has a limited capacity for surprises... He's a good man for thinking of safety first. Although unless you all live in a rough area, I don't see the need to have it under the pillow.... the nightstand drawer works perfectly well.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
ROFL! Sounds like you guys are the ones who got surprised. :D I just hope he didn't shoot.
buckfasthero 0
A gun owner in the UK. So how many drugs did your boyfriend actually sell the night before? His name isn't Derrick Bird by any chance?
samyslamajamma 0
Really, hating on a guy for bein smart? I keep a .45 under my pillow, 9mm in my drawer and 12 guage shotgun in the closet. I have been brocken into before, no deaths but a shot knee cap, he had a pistol and was near my sons room. If i hadnt had a gun it coulda been much much worse. Guns save lives too.
copywrong 0
they may save lives but without guns your sons life wouldn't have been in such imminent danger - and if you think 'but he could have been armed with something else like a knife or a big stick!!!' then so could you - still no need for a gun :)