Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML
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Top comments
sanuxo_ 22
That's just sad.
flufee2 27
That should have been a clear sign that it wasn't the right time to lose it...
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Comments (126)
devildog562 33
Hope your wore a jimmy. Lord knows the people you just became tunnel buddies with. Next time put a little effort in a get a nice escort...
ChristianH39 30
12 I'm going to borrow the phrase tunnel buddies, hope you don't mind.
devildog562 33
I would love to claim I coined the phrase but I didn't . Have fun with it .
ShenaniganNinja 20
I personally like Eskimo brothers for that phrase. It's because in the arctic there's a lot more men than women.
AFaye3964 17
You probably couldve gotten laid another way
stellamahone 4
are you hinting you night help OP?
it__happens 17
Wouldn't you want your first time to be special?
vikky538 29
instead he made it unforgettable.
JayVicious 20
i bet while he was sexing her he forgot to think about the salves n creams in his future
Maclaine21 15
While he was sexing her...
aruam365 24
I'm trying to figure out what's severely wrong with you, that you have to BEG a hooker to take your money in exchange for sexual services?
underthesea12 24
bad hygiene maybe
JMichael 26
Major Desperation.
rockytrolley 8
Yo man I feel you doesn't matter what anybody says, just do you. I know it can get tough enough to hold on, we have our weak moments and some of us are tested more than others. Your only doing what's necessary to survive in this world Much love brother
raichu23154 10
dude no you watch **** yes , well on though **** sites there lot of meet and **** sites much better way to get paid or go to a bar I'm sure condoms and a few drinks would have cost less that a hooker
underthesea12 24
if he had trouble with a pro he would have trouble with a regular woman
Jst4kicks 16
you had to beg the hooker and pay??... that's horrible. not the way to lose it bro. paying for a Hooker in general is dumb.
mangelon86 15
What kind of hooker needs to be begged?
RussRuss 7
OP was either really annoying or ugly... I read it in a prostitutes autobiography
KaylaTackett 18
Hope you went to the doctor to make sure she didn't give you anything.