Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
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Top comments
VonBlitzkrieg 27
A "fart attack," if you will.
CODplayer4lyfe 24
Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.
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Comments (109)
VonBlitzkrieg 27
A "fart attack," if you will.
apitrix 24
Let it goooooo!
ohSNAPyall 27
Medical term: Myocardial infartion.
brokenjawskhan 21
Hahah lmao. Don't down vote #15 he is referring to Lovato
vikky538 29
#29 thanks for sharing knowledge
BlackPhoenixNite 14
Thank you for this. It's the best thing I've seen in a long time :D
kellyem2 20
^This.
teentee401 37
Do you watch Parks and Recreation by any chance?
incoherentrmblr 22
Though it was loud, the better question is how long was it...
assassinmaster 22
boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofffffffffffffffffff. This fart attack...
lovethatstach 18
best comment ever.
CODplayer4lyfe 24
Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.
MrConcise 35
But how else would I know that I have swollen appendages with irate smacking syndrome?!
JKROB 16
ouch, I hit my elbow and it hurts... Web MD "elbow cancer" damn, I'm dead
Sotanostash 20
You either have cancer or you're pregnant..
Zebediabolical 45
...or both. Your cancer is pregnant.
gatorclay97 28
I put minor leg cramps into webmd and it said I had a broken leg
MrConcise 35
At least it didn't say you were an amputee, then you KNOW it's bullshit.
danimal_crackerz 26
The international is good, however it's always the worst case scenario.
fordneagles 34
The Internet has a list of causes as long as your arm for every symptom you could ever have... Chances are good that if the Internet is telling you it's a heart attack, it's probably not a heart attack.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Look, all of us have thought we had aids, cancer, etc. because of the internet. Don't feel bad.
kavyashahs 16
Hahahah if any such things happen again please go to a room where no ones there.
Tarlachia 33
You used WebMD, didn't you?
Ashfyr 18
I was just about to say that. Last time I used that site, I swore I was dying from the plague, when it was just food poisoning.
rosha267 21
Googling symptoms always seems to give you the worst possible scenario. And if you're a girl the symptoms always mean you're pregnant
luk32 9
Yup, cancer doesn't even come close to the little parasite that will suck your life force and money for the foreseeable future ;).
llamarrama01 21
Guess you had a brain fart
SweetIam 12
What did the Internet have to say about that?
Dodge4x4Ram 46
girl or guy let it out. caring about other people's reaction will only hurt your self.