Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
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Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.
Hiktmae 20
If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.
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Comments (183)
cnbcad 15
Ask him to train you. Most guys would love that.
jeanyrios 10
I dated a boy that had bj's from 6 other girls before me. It wasn't that the experience was bad, he just didn't like the sensation nor the idea that some day a girl's mouth will be kissing his prospective children. After more than 20 years we became reacquainted and I asked: Did you ever acquired a like for bj's? His answer, "HEEEELL NO!"
djstiv3 15
dudes a dick.. free bj and he disrespects you like that? he obviously doesnt care for your feelings. dump him.
Hawk42 16
Hawkward
dave20012 15
That's a bad thing to do. Regardless if she'd bitten him or not. He had his definition of terrible in this what ever the case was. He still should have at least told her how he wanted it. Improve on their sex life and also save her confidence she just gotten I mean if she said "she finally did it. Seems as they were together a long time. Better luck next time OP
ZY1431 24
well thats on hell of a dick move
skychu 18
Does no one remember the gag reflex? Or the girl that vomited on the guy's thing while giving him head like a month back?
ladyg228 15
Should of said thanks for letting me know I no longer have to do in the future lol
goldenscorpion_fml 15
Selecting "I agree, your life sucks." Has never been so amusing.
more4me 27
Should have taken a bite the second after he said that. Just kidding , DON'T do it !