Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
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Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.
Hiktmae 20
If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.
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Comments (183)
marcranger 29
So you don't have to give him a ******** ever again, and he doesn't have to get one. Win-win!
rock_stud 9
A P* is not a corn cob.... Don't use a teeth
xKai_Axelx 12
if it's your first time, who's he to judge?
SoulReaper8858 2
while he could have been nicer, atleast he was honest and communicated with you. you can work with honesty.
EvilLittleMan 23
Her first and his last from her. Kick his ungrateful butt to the curb. You can give'th and you can take'th.
heyithinkyourhot 12
It's your first time, he's just a jerk. Get back at him by saying the same when he goes down on you.
shutupshane12 12
Idk a single guy who's say any ******* is horrible, we love getting blow jobs
sanuxo_ 22
Practice makes perfect?
foxy_sunshine 8
On the upside..... you won't have to do it anymore ;)
nightbirdblue 27
He could have been nicer about it, but at least he was honest and forefront with you. I don't know how many fmls there are about long term relationships where one partner hasn't had an ****** in the entire span of the relationship. Most of the time it can be linked to the fact that said partner wouldn't talk to their partner about their lack of satisfaction. You should ask for tips on how do it better. Also perhaps he doesn't actually like ********. You never know. Some people hate certain types of sexual activities. I know more than a few girls that hate being eaten out. I've had a friend who was a girl that only got off by anal stimulation. I knew a guy that couldn't stand hand jobs. Not everyone likes the same things.