Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
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Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.
Hiktmae 20
If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.
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Comments (183)
jhellie23 13
disgusting
limabeans101029 21
The ******* or what he said?
chronosphere 18
men are honest about 2 things only: sex and BJ's....
ElectroThunder28 16
He could have been nicer, but the first time is never amazing, so don't worry
xbaconator9000x 16
Practice makes perfect!
gabagabaheyu 10
practice makes perfect
epilepticloh 20
At least he didn't say "well this sucks" or "well this blows"
FML_JOE 6
Next time make he kisses you ect say the exact same thing
FateIsBlissful 4
That was a sucky thing to do.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Maybe if you hadn't waited so long to try you wouldn't suck so bad
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
As a guy, I've learned to never complain because some girls don't do this often.