Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
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Top comments
DontClickOnMe 28
He could've been nicer about it, but if it really bothers you, ask him how he likes it and to give you some tips. He should be helpful, not hurtful.
Hiktmae 20
If it's her first time it's not really her fault... He needs to be nicer and patient and kindly let her know how to improve, it is very nerve-wracking for a girl to perform for the first time.
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Comments (183)
ostfaiz 18
Bring him a banana or something, ask him to demonstrate the 'way' , learn it, watch couple of videos on web gain expertise, slowly n steadily u will br a BJ Queen ;)
shutupshane12 12
If he can do a better ******* than her, she needs to question if she's dating someone who is straight
limabeans101029 21
104- Not necessarily. He's the one with the penis so he probably knows what to do to make it feel good
macros 12
Watch the teeth
CrucibleGrace 5
^ You would want her straight bf to show her how to give head using a banana?? That sounds traumatizing...
WasabiMars 21
My gf didn't do a great job at her first bj either. I didn't tell her how terrible it was. Instead I told her what I like. She now does a great job at oral sex. The same goes with me when I'm giving my gf oral... I ask her what she likes and how she likes it. Awesome sex takes practice OP. My advise on this is have a light discussion with your bf on how to improve. Lastly, don't listen to all those other crappy comments about breaking up with your bf or telling your bf the relationship is terrible. Obviously these people know nothing about sex and proper relationship management. All the best OP.
Axel5238 29
Lots of people don't understand tact and well he's honest that's awful way of justifying it. That same "honesty" is going to come out in arguments and fodder for another FML.
madi113 18
All girls should be taught how to give head....for gods sake I was nearly perfect on my first try
MzZombicidal 36
Congratulations? Maybe you should teach ******** 101 since you're so perfect?
ostfaiz 18
nominate myself for volunteering :)
shepp626 11
There's no such thing, and a guy praising your skills to the sky is absolutely no indication of your skill, he's just smart enough to know that's how you get more.
nikmiester 7
Are you for real? -.-
DoubleDosexo 12
and this is why every guy I've ever been able to give one too hates me. I don't want to be for terrible, so I don't. did you ever look up how to?
captainsmegma 12
Where is your mother. Don't they teach anything at home any more?
sexual_girl 15
Ask him what he likes! Communication can make your sex life a thousand times better!
lovewalleyes 9
Dump him. Someone else will appreciate you more.