Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Whisper back: "and I wanted a boy, but that didn't happen either."
doonerz 0
is she getting one?
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Comments (254)
kensethp12345 0
You know. Honestly. How many children don't want a new dad. I know when you were a kid you wanted a different dad. Or a dad. And I feel for the people that don't have a dad. There nice to have but dads can be mean very much. I wanted a new dad. Until I grew up and realized why dads are so mean. It's because they love you and want to take care of you
kai_li 8
I agree! She's lucky she has a dad that loves her enough to dress up as Santa!
ppl2ppl 4
Omg that's horrible!! :(:( so sorry :'(
kai_li 8
Reminds me of a time when my mum went dressed as a clown to my sisters class on her birthday. She didn't know and just thought she was super special. Lunch time came around and the kids went to recess. One kid stayed back and found out the clown was my mum - and ran outside and told my sis. She was so embarrassed that the cried and cried and my mum had to leave. I'm sure she felt terrible. The excellent sister that I am sulked in a jealous rage for a week because my mum never did that when I was in grade school I would have loved it. Hmmm, moral of the story - I still have baggage LOL! That said OP, your kid wll grow up and you can remind them of the story and embarrass them about it on their 21st.
kai_li 8
Oops double comment :(
jayAZ 3
Sorry OP...parenting is the toughest job. Kids are cruel.
Okayitwasme 0
Maybe her mom told her to say that.
Poetaster 10
Ouch squared ....
JimmyJet0014 0
That sucks man sorry
vbmg152 19
WTF did you do to your kid??? Most little girls love their daddies! I loved mine and still do even though he's been gone 26 years! Today he'd be 67!
murdersquirrel 15
To be fair, 107, kidtoronto sucks, and by your own logic, kidtoronto is a kid, so one can only deduce that kidtoronto is proving his own statement that 'kids suck' to be true and correct.