Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
desoto96 9
Nope he's not. Just like your rack.
insertnameherr 11
HE'S NOT REAL???
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Comments (145)
fightingkittens 39
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ho, ho, ho.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
I believe you mean oh no no no, who raised that child? It's a shame to see children act that way and ruin the imagination of others. I'm sorry OP.
fightingkittens 39
Sarcasm was heavily implied, 31.
iiAntheA17 7
A slap in the face should be heavily implied -.-
insertnameherr 11
HE'S NOT REAL???
TML329 14
If he's not real how do I get my presents?
desoto96 9
Nope he's not. Just like your rack.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
No! It makes no sense! I saw his sleigh last night! I'm telling you it wasn't an airplane!
twinkiefeets 17
23-- that was hilarious, I wish I could thumb you up a million times. It's funny cause it's true.
Chris455 8
What the flying fup?!? He IS real! How dare you have your doubt?!?
Beeftinkle 13
The only people that make comments like 23 are the people that wouldn't be able to ever get a girl like that even if they paid.
KingMomo360 13
Or maybe the people the people that are just joking around.
insertnameherr 11
lol 23 that's funny but I promise they are real. parents would never let me get work done
IsThatAHorse 5
Ofcourse its the blonde that says that..
insertnameherr 11
but no matter what I say no one will believe me. This is the Internet after all.
RaggleFrock 13
They are about real as a unicorn pissing a rainbow.
kakarot2 11
You mean unicorns don't piss rainbows????? All My life, i have been living a lie!
brand2017 9
You kinda look like you were attacked with spray tan. My opinion though. Insert jokes about my pic next lol
brand2017 9
Damn photo clipping xD
SiriusBlack97 17
Your default pic only makes the comment that much better.
rocker_chick105 31
Well if people don't believe it's real... why don't you change it to a more modest picture? (sorry if that sounded rude I didn't mean it to O.o)
XxskyelovexX 13
I like you hair 73! Sorry I'm using the app so I can't send a private message
SirCharles83 13
If you can reach out and touch it, it must be real.
brand2017 9
Thanks 103, i appreciate it :) im using the app too lol
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
Lol this thread is the best xD
hamrtym 15
Arguing real vs fake is getting us nowhere. I know it can be a dangerous conclusion. That's why I am volunteering myself to be the official tester. Yes I will put my life on the line for the truth! I will report back in a few days. If you don't hear from me... get out before it's too late. May god be with us all.
klrindal 2
God speed 110, God speed
cblock94 7
When you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear.
desoto96 9
42- thanks, I just couldn't help myself. Lol
desoto96 9
And 2, there's only one way to tell if they're real. A squeeze test, and if necessary. A taste test.
SuicideSilence45 6
He's about as fake as you.
Lennes 12
Some people. It's disappointing.
Personification 5
Your comment is disappointing.
Lennes 12
Your comment is superfluous.
ALlamaOnFire 20
You are both dissapoint.
ApollosMyth 22
Y'alls comments are vapid.
gggreen 2
Stop making up words!
ICastillo 25
You should have told him he is getting ready for Christmas and its his brother taking his place.
ShyAnn29 15
My mom would tell me that they were Santas helpers, because Santa was busy at the North Pole.
MuseFan1991 14
71- thats what i plan on telling my kids when i have them. santa doesnt have a brother, silly
MeLikeBigBoom 8
It?
Daiyuki 5
Of?
KingCeltic77 18
You could tell him that it's not Santa, but one of his assistants. It sounds stupid but unfortunately there isn't much you can do at this point.
Lennes 12
That's actually what my parents told me. It made more sense, so I was more inclined to believe it.
Trisha_aus 15
I wonder what Red Forman told Eric..
androiddestroya 7
"Eric, if you ever doubt that Santa's real, the only gift you'll be getting is my foot in your ass."
bwzwally8 15
She's a killer she just killed Santa.
bwzwally8 15
They*
CharresBarkrey 16
I laughed at the thought of "They's a killer..." :)
bwzwally8 15
Ahaha I pressed send a bit to fast lol
crystalnight 19
Dude, what an asshat.
kitten82 16
I would have said that Santa is a really busy man and needs people to help him out.
klol_fml 11
Kick the kid in the ass. Let's see who has a hurt ass.
ksks1234 33
Sorry you had to deal with a rude kid. Tell your child that kid was naughty, so he is mad at Santa. Then, tell your kid the dept. store Santa works for the real one.