Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Whisper back: "and I wanted a boy, but that didn't happen either."
doonerz 0
is she getting one?
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Comments (254)
taurusxdee 10
Maybe she knew it was you and was sad that Santa wasn't real, so she took it out on you? Aww=[ feel better
LyssaPea 0
Awh that's a sin! She's young and doesn't realize.
KatherineJ 0
I'd say she's not going to get much of anything this year. I hope she gets a bit better with age.
wordbigbird 0
Whisper back " you were a mistake and fluffy didn't run away I ran him over with the minivan
mrpyramids 8
May be room for changes , op try to figure out how can you improve ( may be tell her that Santa told me That been bad to you , so what can I do to improve)
rubberduckie94 13
Sometimes kids say things and they come out wrong and adult feelings get hurt. I remember once when my dad was going to move out i told him "i will help you pack" i just wanted to spend all the possible minutes with him i could before he left. Years later he told me he cried over that in private cause he thought i wanted him to be gone and was happy about him leaving. Maybe ops daughter was jealous of having to share her dad with the other kids(cause lets face it she prob recognized him) and not necessarily wanted a new dad but rather wanted her dad to herself. they do have trouble expressing themselves sometimes
XxUNBROKENxX 7
Dude that blows
BlueJay216 0
Dam that sounds hot
blushy 14
maybe you should spend time with her and figure out if you did something to upset her
alanaaretusiixo 0
Shit life