Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Whisper back: "and I wanted a boy, but that didn't happen either."
doonerz 0
is she getting one?
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Comments (254)
PoisonGirlInc 0
Well someones on the naughty list
thevizion54 0
Thats just fked up!
master_hacker17 0
Damn you should have said well you can't fing have one stuck up biach!
SierraD 0
What are you going to do to help change her opinion? I'm not saying this to be a b**** or anything, but generally things like that mean that one parent, or both, are not doing something right. Could be cause mom is the good guy and dad the bad guy, but either way change it.
graffix1976 1
Wow, I don't even know what to say other than I am sorry that happened to you. If my 5 year old son said that to me it would absolutely break my heart.
ronnieboo 0
Well hopefully this was a wake up call for u! Spend more time with her and find out what she likes and dislikes about u n take it 4m there ;)
FMlbeast1 0
Kids don't know what they have till it gone
conniejoy529 10
that's just wrong. the guys dresses up as santa, you would assume he is a nice guy, too bad his kid is a brat.
StromyG2 10
Were you still jolly old St. Nick after that?
HereNReady 13
you are literally the first person on this app i actually feel sorry for