Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML
Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
KY_Jelly 10
At least with bare feet you can wash it off quickly. If you were wearing socks, you would've had to do laundry. Either way, this sucks.
Lionesse 15
Humans shit too. Is that a reason to not be around people? I was going to write "Is that a reason not to own humans" but I caught myself in time because I realized owning people is illegal now.
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Comments (110)
JR_Goes_Rawr 11
Did your cat get into the sushi last night too?
iammeorami 25
haha! op shouldn't have left it out on the table
SystemofaBlink41 27
You think of it as a foot treatment? You know like mud? ....No?
asnakelovinbabe 16
EUGH! This FML gave me the willies. And almost nothing gives me the willies. It was probably still warm and it probably got all between the toes.... THIS is why I keep reptiles!
ICastillo 25
Yes it was probably squishy oh so squishy.
Linkerdoodles 15
This is why you hate reptiles..? I didn't know that cats were reptiles.
Linkerdoodles 15
Wow I read that wrong. Sorry, I am a complete moron and successfully managed to make myself look like an asshole.
kawaiisakura 12
Reptiles also poop...They do have smaller poops, but I'd rather bigger, more noticeable poops rather than small poops I can barely see
asnakelovinbabe 16
It's cool 67.... We all do that at times :)
asnakelovinbabe 16
69 I am not sure if you have a cat and have ever been up close and personal with cat poop... But it is literally the most foul and stinky poop... I really feel for the OP. reptile poo is at least nice and compact, and easily spot cleaned in a contained area... That's mainly what I love about them. Easy to clean up after, and it will never be on my floor. Plus many of my snakes only poo once every 3-4 weeks! I like cats, a whole lot actually. But their pooping habits are literally the one thing that make me reconsider owning one.
hannaaaahr 33
75- Wouldn't the cat attack your snakes if you had one? or the other way round? Poor kitty!
squideth 18
90 uh, no? I have a kingsnake who has lived around cats all his life and I don't even think the cats are aware of him. It's not like snake owners just let their snakes roam the house with the cats.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Thank you, 93. You saved me from having to slap the stupid out of 90.
oj101 33
Buy your cat a diaper. Yes, they sell them - in almost any pet store.
lifeisgood_03 8
poor kitty and poor you :(
EnterSandman_fml 20
I had a cat that intentionally ate too fast once with the express purpose of vomiting on my new girlfriend's bare feet. Turns out the girl was a bitch and the cat was giving me dating advice. However, stepping in shit somehow is worse.
hannaaaahr 33
Are you sure it was because the cat hated your girlfriend or simply because the cat wanted you for himself? Watch out, before you know it you're old and alone thanks to your cats eating habits
EnterSandman_fml 20
The cat loved my next girlfriend. It died a few months ago, but I've still got my girlfriend.
80sgurl 15
Talk about a shitty ending of a day.
13ky13 20
21, I wish I could think of puns like this one.
80sgurl 15
Lol:)
Shmatterhorn 38
#21, You don't say!
hannaaaahr 33
33- I honestly hope you are kidding.
13ky13 20
Of course I was kidding. Anyone who's been on FML a few times knows how overused shit puns are.
poodle_juice 17
Did it make an audible squish?
rhysfucker 24
So awesome with your name. Squish! Ha!
BradTheBrony 19
Uh, I'd imagine something more akin to "Squish! Aaah, ****! Gross!"
firefighter925 18
sounds shitty
simoncat 11
Eh. It washes off easily. It is icky but could be worse. Poor kitty.