Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat pissed on my bed, so I had to change the sheets. Just as I got out of bed and take my first step, I stepped in my cat's poop as well and slipped, spraining my ankle. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
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Top comments
xFaust_fml 12
Of course, it was all part of his evil plan. No stupid dog could elaborate a plot so brilliant.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Well, 37, the cat obviously took a dump.
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Comments (135)
xFaust_fml 12
Of course, it was all part of his evil plan. No stupid dog could elaborate a plot so brilliant.
snade 0
LOL.
Ranimal 12
Cats are worthless, and they always will be.
mrducky5 0
I agree. Except some dogs are actualy really smart..
KaanTech 0
i dont know why but i always find cats smarter than dogs.
lulututu 4
Dogs are actually smarter than dogs. They can learn different tricks and its hard for cats to do that. But cats are cleaner than dogs.
lulututu 4
I ment dogs are actually smarter than cats. Oops. :)
gearsmaster 0
Dog would have eatin cat shit at bottom of stairs. (gross we all know) cats are much cleaner.. burry own shit, give oneself a bath, regurgitate a blockage via visceral so cat not die. I love kitties :> someone give me one? :D
blake4months 0
I beg to differ
Litschi 0
-109: you could train a cat also. they are just too stubborn to listen to you. while a dog will do anything to get a treat, a cat will only do what she pleases.
Laker_Fan_24 11
scientiets just recently proved dags to be smarter and dogs are used in was, to find drugs, track people down, and find bed bugs thats better then a cat eating a rat
MsSoulReaper 27
Is your cat black by any chance?
MsSoulReaper 27
xD why was my comment moderated? Superstitions I believe.
instnt1nfction 17
excuse me..ahem yeah, **** you racist
xtacticalswarmx 0
No sir, **** you. Black cats are bad luck, so they say. Maybe you should ask him to elaborate more.
kawaiixalice 15
Must be evil cat day on FML.
AutumnBeatricee 0
no more thumbs down:)
ifinsane 6
That's what you get for getting a damn cat.
Riddles66 0
Yummies
Riddles66 0
people it was a joke! Y'all are actting like i'm the chick from 2g1c, no need to thumb this
uncbballwins 0
You: Oh shit Cat: That's what you get for not letting me out bitch!
curliegirlie85 0
cats use litter boxes.
EliseAqua 0
I'm not sure if they meant let out to go to the bathroom. I'm pretty sure it was let out to go outside.
travisrocker 0
I let my cat outside when he needs to poop...
minecraft_fml 4
thats what she said
SwaggerMelon 6
Grody
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
omg grody is like the best word ever! lol i say it all the time
AutumnBeatricee 0
I do too!:D
livin_plur 0
Omg really?!? nobody gaf it's a word calm down
DocBastard 40
That's a smart cat. It was just making sure you saw where the poop was.
doom2 8
hahaha, what a genius cat you have (: I'm not a huge fan of cats though..
uncbballwins 0
Trippin on pussy!