Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
yrkamurka 4
I lift things up and put them downnnn
AKSpray 4
Everyone saying he needs to lay of steroids needs to read a book or a medical journal. They can cause STERILITY, not impotence. In fact, they are prescribed quite often to men with erectile dysfunction. Stop recycling garbage that you don't know the facts about.
alisidewinder 9
Sooooooooo don't have sex or don't work out 7days a week
SGal25 5
Stop sticking yourself in the a$$ with steroids and you'll be ok....
flugiboogee 9
Go see a doctor about that. That's not a normal thing.
RandomChickXD 0
uhhhh it's not the working out, it's the STEROIDS. ydi
AKSpray 4
No, no it isn't. Get a brain and a book if you want to pretend to have knowledge.
Leftieswillrule 3
Someone please explain to me how you can be a professional bodybuilder? Do people pay you to become an unnatural testosterone filled husk of flesh?
Bossman11 6
yes, yes people do
dansco 25
Just stop the steriods!
maz2390 0
stay off the steroids!
capnbzarr 43
Hey, Narcissus, just get a real job. Problem solved!