Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that having done a killer workout with free weights the day before is all well and good, but it is neither conducive to playing difficult piano pieces nor to… uhm… masturbating. FML
Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML
Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I was trying to work out, and couldn't even complete an exercise regime meant for 50-year-olds. I'm 24. FML
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
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Top comments
markrs 0
You're dicksfunctional
DrDiamond 0
Hey having sex is exercise too... The fun kind
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Comments (294)
jethrojack83 0
lay off the steroids.
donnasd 0
You probably dont get none anyways with your body building self
emily56841 0
hahaha the comments "your dicksfunctional" made my day! but then I'm sorry... that really does suck
tmbfan 11
Damn dude that sucks. Shouldn't your muscles already be buff and what not no need to over do it.
cek31076 1
Then lay off the roid juice friend
lifeisabitch43 4
One word: Viagra.
Storm27 3
It might work fine if you didn't use steroids.
AKSpray 4
Steroids actually enhance sexual virility bud.
sparklecherry 4
You just have to decide what's more important.
totallyw0rthit 0
Steroids ftl?
ClaytonAwesome 0
Have sex while lifting weights! It can't fail