Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
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Top comments
mygreenhoodie 0
This is why we cant have nice things..
mspoutylips 8
You impressed her alright.
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Comments (74)
Lizzy500 16
That's the thing about getting older. You only know 'you can't do that anymore' after you've already gone and done it.
Johnny6speed 0
I picture this mom as the same kind of person that loves to relive their high school years because it was the only time they were remotely successful. Like a High school football player who works a low paying job and all they can talk about is the time the team took home the state championship. Kinda like Napoleon dynamites uncle. It's just sad to me. Im not saying that remembering your high school years is bad. I had an awesome high school experience and tell crazy stories of all the shit I did. Really all that I can say is, Napoleon dynamite's uncle if he was a woman and his aunt.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Agreed.
RedPillSucks 33
Was she impressed?
EduJav321 24
Thats when you say "and thats how you DONT do the toe-touch!"
lolyeahthatsme 11
Show off...
KiddNYC1O 22
That ******* hurts bad.
ouchie1013 0
stu.pid.
blair_x 12
Um. You should really stretch and make sure you're warmed up before you do toe-touches, or anything dance/cheer/gymnastics-related, since you're basically doing a straddle split in midair. You could really ruin a tendon and/or ligament if you pull crazy stunts like that. Still, a broken toe is no fun. FYL OP, I hope your daughter was still impressed.
shrimpygymnast 9
how old are you?
ILoveUu32 3
That's What You Get..!