Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
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Top comments
mygreenhoodie 0
This is why we cant have nice things..
mspoutylips 8
You impressed her alright.
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Comments (74)
AcidLacedBong 5
Let's not try any other old cheer leading moves mom... Your daughter needs you!!! Lol
Omegadolly 22
Always stretch properly before beginning any workout routine. D= Hope your daughter was still impressed!
wittygirl 8
Next time you'll remember your an old foggie and stop trying to regain your youth in stupid ways. Don't you have some embarrassing video footage of yourself doing that stunt in a bad cheer outfit?
GoW_Chick 15
Your name doesn't fit your comments, that is a shame, you know that's false advertisement.
Johnny6speed 0
^ funny
mynewaccount 8
I pictured this in my head and I couldn't help but giggle! I hope your toe gets better OP!
Johnny6speed 0
The only reason your getting thumbed up is because of your rack. At least that's why I did it
RedPillSucks 33
rack of lamb? bicycle rack? Come on. I wanna thumb up too.
Furrywhiplash 14
42- And I thumbed you down because of your lip. See, I can thumb based off of a profile picture too.
Johnny6speed 0
Oh no please don't thumb me down because I have a tattoo on the inside of my lip. Get bent you fucktard like I actually care.
mynewaccount 8
I'll give you a thumbs up(:
koolkat27 13
63- instead of trying to get attention for your boobs, can you just make a good comment next time?
jnaust 8
The boobs work! But she has a cute smile too. I just thought I'd put that out there
mynewaccount 8
63, I am sorry my attention seeking ways bother you so much.
mynewaccount 8
*64
ladyLALAA 29
Broken toes suck, hope it heals quickly OP. I'm sure your daughter was impressed until you landed :)
Wangan_Warrior 9
Did you use the classic line: I'm too old for this shit? :P
stevenmx86 8
I've heard of people trying to impress attractive members of the opposite sex and you know their goal there.. I'm not saying that was your goal here but wth was your goal?
GoW_Chick 15
... to try and impress their 5 year old daughter with a toe-touch that went horribly wrong.
Msadd 0
I hope you're not in High School with a 5 year-old daughter.
diamondace1 0
M. Lllc. B
GoW_Chick 15
Why is it we'll do anything to impress a kid, even though they'll forget about it 5 mins. later?