Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML
Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Today, I was skipping with my mother, when all of a sudden she kneed me in the face and burst my lip open. Instead of helping me she took out her phone and sent this to fmylife. FML.
Soniclover3 0
yes, i bet she scratchea herself all the time
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Comments (70)
repyourcliche 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"accidentally"? did you also "accidentally" burn her with an iron? several times
mzhonesty 0
You CAN accidentally knee someone a third your size. My niece is smaller than my whole leg, I could accidentally knee her if I skipped.
cucuto89 0
I agree with 22
YayAmerica 0
I'll agree that it was an accident. I won't agree that OP's life was ******. Oh, your daughter got a fat lip today? Poor you.
xx3ginaxx3 0
it wasn't an FML for that reason, it was because everyone thought that OP hurt their kid on purpose.... Or at least, that's what I got out of it.
YeahFMLxX 0
@1=owned.
tubz84 2
thank you so much for that comment, nearly crying with laughter lol :D
pipp360 0
lol lop lol
10FlyGirlz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lmfao! your such a itch!
Soniclover3 0
yes, i bet she scratchea herself all the time
KingMomo360 13
You spell "bitch" with a "b."
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Today, I was skipping with my mother, when all of a sudden she kneed me in the face and burst my lip open. Instead of helping me she took out her phone and sent this to fmylife. FML.
adidaman 3
do you have no life....
IntoTheClouds 42
#3, your comment makes no sense, considering that there's no indication that the OP submitted this directly after she accidentally kneed her daughter.
nolimits 0
YDI for your obviously spastic skipping style and bony-ass knees.
Boddmon 0
I don't believe one's knee needs to be particularly bony in order to injure someone, especially a child. Lets get a not-so-bony person to knee you in the face and you tell me if it hurts.
nolimits 0
All knees are bony, genius - how about I bone you in the face and you tell me if it spurts?
Boddmon 0
Okay so basically you're saying that OP deserves it for having knees? Since all knees are bony, the fact that you specifically mentioned bony knees is irrelevant yes? According to your logic, I should beat you in the head with a baseball bat and if I feel bad I deserve it for owning a baseball bat, better yet you deserve it for having a head.
mike1921 0
"How about I bone you in the face" Do we really need the sexual harassment?
fatalkiss 0
lmfao omfg hahahaha
flashback.miss 28
Oo well.... uh.. hmm. welcome to the fallacies of parenthood. :)
yakturk43 0
YDI for being a terrible parent lol
ellness 0
that's not bad parenting. a full grown man/woman was skipping in public with their little girl. they skip with just enough energy to hit her. my parents accidentally hit me a few times too lol. and I've hit little kids with doors accidentally because they're 1 foot tall and I'm 6!! tell me how that makes me bad? and if u were totally kidding about that, just ignore me XD sorry
Soulathyia 0
how tall is your daughter? Cause if she's above like 4ft I call fake. It's pretty hard to knee somebody in the face unless you meant too. If she was skipping with you wouldn't she be on the other side of you not facing you directly in front of you?
flashback.miss 28
prolly about 2-3ft
Soulathyia 0
Well it doesn't say the age so it's hard to tell...
theshadow013 0
How do you knee someone in the face if they're beside you?
Soulathyia 0
Thank you for restating what I already siad.
allmidnighteyes 11
chris brown that ho
Ashle1gh 14
When you got home did your arm reach out while she was walking past and cause you to punch her in the face?