Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
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Top comments
mygreenhoodie 0
This is why we cant have nice things..
mspoutylips 8
You impressed her alright.
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Comments (74)
mygreenhoodie 0
This is why we cant have nice things..
yahoowizard 16
By "we" and "nice things", do you mean "men" and "cheerleaders" =0?
cheesypies 6
Age tends to do bad things to your body, unfortunately. Nice things like flexibility weaken. Don't know where you're coming from, 20.
MagicallyFat 12
OP you don't even have to try to impress her at such a young age. She looks up to you and is already impressed. It gets harder when she gets older though.
BrightBrownEyes 11
That must of hurt.
LightningCactus 12
Breaking bones usually do.
Climaxx 11
Yah don't say..
Michael_92 20
@2 There is only 1 way to be sure, try it yourself and let is know how it feels.
MikeDa1Da 14
Have*
AssassinsCRB 0
Really?? Seems luxurious if you ask me
mspoutylips 8
You impressed her alright.
TPSerigne 9
Children usually laugh at your pain.
chris36taylor 2
Hope Herbert the from family guy wasn't there to see you do that
everett0826 0
Herbert is attracted to little boys. Any Family Guy fan would know that. An clearly OP is a girl.
chris36taylor 2
Shit happens
bacon1043 3
Could've been worse, you could have tripped and landed on a wild hungry crocodile
brianfantana32 10
I love cheerleading around crocodiles.
omgitemmi 4
Oh yeahh I did that once. It hurt.
mama2b3 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why were you trying to "impress" your five year old?
jnaust 8
Who doesn't try and impress there kids? I've twice put myself in hospital trying to impress my kids. Once trying to do a back flip on a jumping castle and once on a super slide.
Johnny6speed 0
^Why oh why did you produce offspring?
Johnny6speed 0
I mean you're actually proud that you injured yourself trying to impress your kids.
GoW_Chick 15
I try to impress kids every day at work, I work at a daycare, I've made a fool out of myself rapping with a little kid, because he loves it, even though i have no business trying to rap, in the end it doesn't matter to me how I look, just if the kid is smiling.
RedPillSucks 33
Chill. 14 is simply offering her experience as proof that people do things to try to impress their kids. You may wonder whether it's normal or not but there's no need to invalidate her experience. For the record, but my wife and myself have done the same.
xStaciexLynnx 15
I don't think you ever have to work 'impress' a young child and certainly not hurt yourself doing it. Children are usually impressed by the every day things you can do that they can't.
eminemop 0
An idiot who tattoos "PUNK" on their lip shouldn't have children either...
mama2b3 20
There's a difference between entertaining kids and striving to impress them. You dont have to show off to a 5year old. 50-exactly.
kateheartswaffle 0
Did she laugh?
The_creator_fml 2
Is that a sky high shirt in your profile pic?
Furrywhiplash 14
Are people forgetting what a pm is?
jnaust 8
Can you pm from the iPhone app?
jellitonoctopus 19
24, not yet.
MagicallyFat 12
23 most people are using the iPhone app. I want a pm on the iPhone oh so bad
Furrywhiplash 14
Still, people can see someone they want to pm while using the app, then go to a computer (possibly at this one place called a library) and send a pm that way.
mstangchck 9
Or they can go on the full website using Safari if you have an iPhone. That's what I do.
kadesgb 0
12 is a creeper
beachybrunette 2
So what some people like to be modest young ladies not all women have to be ***** (about writer #12)
littlewifey 7
Now you get to show her how brave you are by going to the doctor
msjoyfull84 0
Better than breaking your hip.
The_creator_fml 2
Did you call a tow truck?