Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
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Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
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Comments (208)
D2_fml 0
That's not as bad as being someone else on the road with a driver like you around.
alex_vik 1
Eating french fries and smoking while driving. You definitely deserved that one.
vanillawire 0
who the **** eats french fries while smoking? seriously.
starvingxartist 0
so here's my question..do you grab the cherry of your cigarette when you smoke? how could you possibly have done that? yeah, they're the same size/shape..kind of, but smoking while eating is not difficult. and if you smoke, like pretty much everyone else does, with the filter between your index and middle fingers, this could not have happened. unless you pretend to smoke fries and pick them up between your fingers. my guess is you were probably eating fries and smoking and decided it would be a funny fml.
kel_riv 0
multi-tasking while driving is the new paying attention!
jadedinjuly 0
k fed?
laxchick617 0
1: smoking kills 2:cigarettes dont feel like french fries 3:ur a dumb ass
fmlroxmysox2470 0
smooooooth
b00mc1ap 0
SMOKING A CiGARETTE? EWWWWWWW EATING A FRENCH FRY? EWWWWWWW you're gonna get fat AND die of lung cancer
Kristoffer 35
Life lesson learned: don't smoke and eat. Also, don't smoke and drive. Let's not forget don't smoke.