Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
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Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
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Comments (208)
Rainbow_Monkey 0
YDI. Totally.
Funnybunny_fml 3
wow...your an idiot. don't smoke while driving it's a disgusting habit. I bet you just loved that urine because that is what some of the cig is made out of. Ether way your damaging your body, fries are fatty and go down to your stomach, cigarettes can kill you and go down to your lungs. so by the time your 35 your fat or died. pick one.
111615 0
both
whiteboy77 0
fat or dead.
dirtyhippie 0
lol @ #30 - and made late on his way to a job interview or finals exam :P On the way to work - so french fries and cigs for breakfast?
NickAlert 1
Morom
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
Lol, for some reason this amuses me. I watched an episode of CSI once where a woman was eating cigarettes for snacks because she was kind of unstable I guess... It made a cool crunching noise. I wouldn't eat them, nor would I smoke them though. Though smoking is a life choice, I wouldn't suggest smoking and eating simultaneously. Smoking and driving isn't that bad. My Ma does it all the time (though I get irritated when she does it and I'm in the car), but I wouldn't advise smoking, eating, and driving all at once. Even though it was just a fry... Hahaha.
npk1112 0
Lets see....you were stuffing your face with artery clogging fast food, while smoking cancer-causing cigarettes...while driving? You must have a death wish of astronomic proportions! YDI. If you want to kill yourself just hang yourself in the privacy of your own room.....don't triple-play it on the road where you can hurt or kill innocent victims too!
Theos_fml 0
#23 thanks for asking what everyone was wondering.
rukusrazor 0
Gross, smoking AND eatting at the same time? #34, I wanted to cry for you when I read your post. Then I saw your picture.. and I think you probably do plenty of crying on your own. Plus there is so much unintelligible garble in your post.. I honestly don't know where to begin. Is "Funnybunny" an ironic username? You seem so full of sadness.
pgray18 0
holy **** people.. smoking isnt as bad as its made out to be... ur all just little sheep that go believing in everything the government and whoever says.. statistics may prove that lung cancer is a result of chronic smoking.. however in my opinion nicotine is the best drug ever.. its the only drug that makes u feel how u want to feel without short term consiquences.. people need to stop being so fickle n find some shit out for themselves..
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
I don't get why everyone is looking down on fast food though. It's not like you haven't tried it at least once. And just for the record, before anyone goes pointing the "You're a fat ass" finger because I chose to say something about it, I weigh 89 pounds, and I'm five feet tall. I highly doubt that is overweight. Fast good every once in a while won't kill you. Some people don't have time to make meals every night. Or... in the afternoon when they're in a rush to get somewhere. Just felt like saying that.
111615 0
you should be 89 lbs if your only 5 feet tall... that's not an acomplishment