Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (208)
vintagetrendygal 0
who needs the patch when you've got french fries :D
alwaysalady 0
Wow..... edible fail
technicolour_ 0
If I was ever rear-ended by someone who was smoking, eating, AND driving at the same time, trust me, lung cancer or obesity would be the LAST THING they'd have to worry about.
Jertastic 0
first of all, cigarettes are not exactly like cigarettes. you see, the difference is that cigarettes taste like smokey poison going into your lungs, and french fries have a good salty flavor. Poison and salt dont taste the same
xotennisbabexo 3
yeaa...chewin on a cigarette will prob kill u...gl wit that
sheheartsthings 0
Hahaha, goin' for double heart failure, hey?
sheheartsthings 0
#97 cigarettes are not exactly like cigarettes, huh? Interesting...
kla69 0
Haha, that just made my day.
totoro_fml 0
It's people like you that make it worth coming here.
pennygoo 0
WHAT? wow. next time you should talk on your cell phone, too.