Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I made the decision to quit smoking while I was driving in my car. So I took my pack, crushed it and threw it out the window. I felt triumphant about this change I was making in my life, until the cop I didn't know was behind me gave me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML
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Top comments
keke_fml 0
let's see which one kills you first
Charlesdenfreude 0
Wow, that's like the healthiest activity I've ever heard of
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Comments (208)
APit 0
ydi for driving and smoking AND eating at the same time ur lucky this FML isnt about u hitting something
SublatePandemic 0
hahahaha :) sorry, but that's funny.
Milena_fml 0
HAHAHA This sort of thing used to happen to me too. I would be doing homework and snacking, and I'd almost put the pencil in my mouth. XD
ThumbTackBraille 0
YDI for smoking. :)
thewoozy1 0
you sound like a really healthy guy.
VooDooXII 0
Haha holy hell...another reason why I won't smoke while eating.
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well someone wasn't the top of their class in High School. I'm going to click YDI, not because of smoking, I really don't give two ***** just don't around someone if they don't like it. But because you thought that it was a smart idea to eat, smoke AND drive. Seriously, people have a hard time driving and you try to do all three. I bet you can't walk and chew gum at the same time.
pogo_fml 0
maybe you shouldn't be smoking in the first place, since you know, it's bad for you
lady4 0
JAJA.. YDI.. BY THE WAY NICE WORDING..
Tsukasa_fml 0
Must have been terrible fries. Anyway, lesson 1, don't eat and smoke at the same time. Lesson 2, pay attention to the damn road.